[parents] Not allowed to party.

[$un$hine]

Okay, I'm 16 right now. I turn 17 in like 5-6 months. Anyways, I feel like I don't really do ANYTHING. I just go to school, go home, watch TV and go on the computer. I hang out with my friends sometimes, we just go to the mall, go to this one amusement park, or hang out at eachothers houses. That's about it. All that anyone around here does for fun is party/drink/smoke. And I can't even do that. Ok, I'm not obsessed about drinking or smoking, but once in a while is fine with me. I haven't even been to a party with liquor and stuff. Because my parent's don't really let me do anything. They make a really big deal if I just want to go to my friend's house. Even my best friend's house, who I've known for 5 years. They used to let me spend the night at friend's house, not anymore. Last year I used to sneak around with my boyfriend and they found out I smoked weed before. That was LAST year. I wish I could just like spend the night at a friend's house and party with some friends and some guys. Or even just go to a simple sleepover. My friends always invite me to parties and I feel so stupid for not being able to go. They don't even want me to hang out with guys. And my mom always gives this speech how guys are assholes and I'm just going to get pregnant. First of all, I know guys are assholes, but some are OKAY, and I'm NOT going to get pregnant, because I'm not going to have sex with them because I'm not ready for any of that yet. But, I know that if I wanted to hang out with a guy, they would want to meet him and all that crap. I mean, right now, I'm not even into serious relationships, so the guys I would like to be hanging out with are not my serious boyfriends, So I think that would be stupid to introduce them to my parents, and embarrassing too. And this year, I've been trying really hard to get good grades, and I have gotten better grades, but they don't even care really. They only get mad if I get bad grades, and I got like one F, and they still got mad at that one. It's like they only care if I do bad, and if I do anything good, they don't even do anything. Also, if I want to just cruise around with my friends, I would have to be back by like 10 or 10:30. I know they care about me and love me and I know alot of stuff are dangerous, but I just think they are going too far. I can handle some stuff that I deal with on my own. I don't know what to do. I wish I could talk to them about it, and I've tried, but it doesn't even get anywhere. And they bring back all these 'bad' things that I've done before, from like 1-2 years ago. I mean, so what, I just want to party once in a while! I feel as if I'm missing out on everything. My whole high school years have tottaly sucked because I don't do anything that's fun or party with all my friends. I have like 1-2 friends that don't really party, but...I guess I have to fight..for my right...to..paaartyy :rocker: Ok, well any advice would be so wonderful and I'd be so thankful because I feel so lame and so confused and sad. Thank you SO much. :(

[Shocka]

I think you need to have a serious talk with your parents. Tell them that you've made mistakes in the past but you've grown, and with that maturity you'd like more rights to do things you want, like stay at friend's houses and go to parties. Show them what you've told us, that you're smart enough not to make mistakes and that you'll keep safe so that they're not insanely protective of you.

Either that, or kill them. :bounce:

[Don Simeone]

my advice is to become european :)

apart from that, i'd say hardcore rebellion is the only way

[kuju]

Moved to Friends and Family.

Really, I think option #1 s sit down and talk with your parents. Bring up your good grades. (assuming you haven't,) tell them you haven't smoked weed since that time last year and you found it disgusting. Tell them you feel like a social outcast because they make it so difficult for you to spend time with friends, and that you miss bonding sessions with your girl friends at sleepovers. Ask for a curfew extension to 11, and possibly later for SPECIAL circumstances like an occassional party on weekends where you GIVE them the number and promise to call them and DO call them.

Trust is something that has to be earned, and unfortunately, when it comes to parents if you break it once (i.e. failing grades or smoking weed) it's HARD to get it back.

if that doesn't work? Go with the Don. All out rebellion. :)

[Nurseman]

$un$hine, I would like you to take a look at your post, step outside of your own perspective (ie. look at as we or any stranger would.) and ask yourself; Is this the writing of a mature person?

Frankly, it fails to hit the mark with me. Its all whining and complaining. Your complaints are the same ones any 16 y/o would have.

Look, being 16 is a MAJOR pain in the butt. I remember being 16 and it really sucked. You couldn't PAY me to go back. But there IS hope: It won't be like this forever.

In the meantime.........

Ok, the old folks won't let you sleep over at a friends house? See if they can come to YOUR'S. Make sure your parents know all about it. Make sure all goes well at least a couple of times and then try seeing if you can go to somebody else's house.

Ya wanna go to a party? Timing can be crutial! If you just got in trouble reciently. Forget it. If you haven't, make sure the parents of the person throwing the party are going to be there. Get THEM to ask your parents if you can come. If your parents say "Be home by 10" or even 9, BE HOME. This is called instilling trust. Now the NEXT time, if you are really having a good time, CALL HOME, ask if you can be out another hour. Chances are at least fair that they will say "Yes". But don't push it! And DON'T come home drunk (or, worse, stoned)

Its really all a big game. You have to master the rules.






:whistle:

[Rammstein39]

I hear you there, my friend.

Firstly, I would have to agree with Nurseman. Its part of growing up. I have the same problem and I am 17 and on my way to college. I cannot tell u how many times my mom has forbidden me to see my b/f of 10 months b/c she doesnt want me out late. Althought you feel like you are in control you never know what could happen. All you have to do is this; just obey. I was never one to disobey my parents, but sometimes I dont agree with what they want. The point is; they are in charge. I know u wanna go out and do fun stuff and u feel like u are being held back by them. It happens. If you behave yourself and do as the say u will be able to have fun later. My mom let me do a few thinks recently b/c I am a senior and she knows i have been good. Then, u get older and u get outta the house and they cannot control u.

One more question: do they know your friends? If they dont, and they know u smoked pot, they may be suspicious.

If you dont like my advice above then i would say go and talk to them, but dont be demanding. Hear their point out then give yours. Dont throw a tizzy that makes it worse.

Good luck.

[lemmi]

hmmm, i think it's a matter of compromise. They are adults and you're a young adult too. You can't make them change their minds or opinions but you can show them you can be trusted. As for being rebelious when i was 16 i used to sneak about and stuff, i went out my bedroom window on more than a few occasions and once a member of the public thought i had just robbed the house! all of this didnt really help me get on well with my parents and i just kept rebelling and then moved in with my gf. I don't really regret it because it bought me very close to my gf, but i dont like the fact that i hurt my mum and dad and that they blamed my gf for my behaviour. That was three or four years ago and i get on very well with my parents now, but if i could go back i would have sat down and talked with them about what was going on.
Good luck anyway!

[Pudding]

Rebelling against them worked for me, but it wasnt like I ever thought it through and decided rebelling would be the way to go. I just did it. It made things heaps easier for my younger brother, cuz i was the oldest one. Are you the oldest? I reckon its always the hardest for the oldest because yknow, the obvious. They havent really had to deal with it before, if you dont count THEMSELVES doing it. But they might not have as well. Ah i dont know.
Im not really the one to give you advice on this, i'm 19 and i still dont get along with my folks because of the same reason, goin out and stuff, generally theyre against the choices I make regarding social situations.
Maybe it will never change. Maybe if you have a talk with them theyll understand better. No one knows ur parents like you do round here, so you're gonna have to think and figure that out for yourself.

Hope it works, whatever it is.