kissing girls, ask first or move in for the kill?

[rabidcowfromhell]

so two people have told me differnt things about first kissed. one of them said i should ask first, cause it's cute. the other said i should just go for it...cause then she doenst have a chance to say no.

any suggestions?

[cc-crazed]

shoot first. ask questions later.

[ShotBlocker34]

Agreed.

Make your move man, if she doesn't want to you'll know...

[Dr. Dean]

Don't ask, that's a rookie mistake.

[dulcinea]

Generally, I'd say just go in for the kill.

However, I think it's sweet to be asked, and I'd actually prefer that to some of the guys I've been with wherein they assume I want their tongue down my throat. But these are guys I haven't seriously dated, only agreed to "spend time with," whatever that means. As long as you're dating her in some form, I don't think you have to ask, but otherwise, be careful because you don't want to piss her off. :P

[Asphodelle13]

It is sweet to be asked. But there's nothing like the spontaneity and overwhelming lust(provided you didn't screw anything up) of a surprise kiss.

[MrPoopypants]

hallow blonde, you rock my monde.

sorry, it just came to me.

and, so as not to spam, yes, just move in for the kill. asking is kind of dorky--some girls will think it's cute or sweet or whatever, but some girls might not like it.

[moonangel]

You don't have to ask, but at least READ THE SIGNS, to save embarrassment later. And just make sure she isn't attached.

I think it would make things kinda awkward if you asked ... it's happened to me before and it was just embarrassing. I went red and I didn't know what to say ... and I just said "yes".

Just wait till the moment's right, then just do it. Try and make it as mutual as you can.

[Asphodelle13]

Originally posted by MrPoopypants@Feb 17 2004, 01:11 AM
hallow blonde, you rock my monde.

sorry, it just came to me.

and, so as not to spam, yes, just move in for the kill. asking is kind of dorky--some girls will think it's cute or sweet or whatever, but some girls might not like it.
Hehe you remind me of a cute hippie or something. :P (and you gotta come up with a better nickname then mr. poopypants ;) )

So yeah, like already said...I wouldn't ask, I'd just cleverly contemplate when the moment and mood is right..and then go for it. If done subtle enough though, asking can be a sweet gesture that shows you've been thinking about kissing her for hrs, yet respect her enough to warn her first with asking. Either way is nice if you got style. :cool2:

[HurleyGirlie]

I don't think i'd want to be asked...to me that would ruin the ever so anticipated moment.

[Scarlett]

I love a guy that's bold. :mrgreen:

But I also think it's cute when a guy does ask. Yet I agree that it SOMETIMES does ruin the anticipated moment

[MrNuclear]

Dont ask, but dont just rush in like your trying to find gold somewhere in the back of the mouth, move slowly that way if she isnt interested so much she has some time to react.

[MrPoopypants]

Originally posted by MrNuclear@Feb 18 2004, 11:58 PM
Dont ask, but dont just rush in like your trying to find gold somewhere in the back of the mouth, move slowly that way if she isnt interested so much she has some time to react.
yes, but don't move so slow that, if she's ambivalent about it, you don't have time to change her mind with your awesome kissing skillz.

[toychoke]

I say go for the kill, but as for tongue, I withhold that until given a sign that she wants more than just a soft caring passionate kiss on the lips. Too many times before have I just made the mistake of using my tongue too soon, and taking the kiss from being great to being crap in a matter of seconds, ^^. So be wise with your kissing, and never move too fast. It's all about taking that brief moment you're actually kissing someone and making them feel like it's lasting a lifetime, and how each second feels like it's just a little longer. I also believe in leaving them wanting more. Don't want to spill all the beans on the first try. Basically you have to save some tricks for later on, cause I hate the idea that the first kiss will be the best.

[Doc_Holiday]

yeA do not ask it is stupid. If you do not know if the time is right for a kiss then you should study more about relationships before getting into one. Also that or you should ask questions kinda like beating around the bush of the question.

[alternativesurfer]

Originally posted by Asphodelle13@Feb 18 2004, 12:54 AM
Hehe you remind me of a cute hippie or something. :P (and you gotta come up with a better nickname then mr. poopypants ;) )

So yeah, like already said...I wouldn't ask, I'd just cleverly contemplate when the moment and mood is right..and then go for it. If done subtle enough though, asking can be a sweet gesture that shows you've been thinking about kissing her for hrs, yet respect her enough to warn her first with asking. Either way is nice if you got style. :cool2:
Heres one, how about, if i just told her that i am going to kiss her, and then kissed her, without ne questions or anything??? Would that be bold, or just prickish?

[toychoke]

oh that could be interesting. However, that's a more romantic approach to a first kiss. I'd play that one by ear, and see how it goes. Sometimes the first kiss is romantic, and sometimes it's not. Either way it's supposed to be special. But by no means would I use the same trick on girl after girl after girl.

[Pash47]

I agree that asking is not a good move. Yes, it seems considerate and cute, but it's also passive, weak, and corny. From the tone of the date and how things are going, you should be able to tell if this girl wants to kiss you. If all signs point to yes, then go for it. If not, you should be able to tell snd hold back. It's always sexier when the guy is confident and suavely moves in for the kiss. ;)

[FiddleStix]

I think the best way to explain the first kiss is like jumping the double dutch... Your just waiting kinda bobbing in and then your like.... nah... then you wait then you wana go in... then your like... nah... then finaly your like, theres my opening.. and you gata go for it full out or the jump rope is going to clober you.

Hrm... so yea. Dont ask.

[eyver]

Originally posted by alternativesurfer@Mar 17 2004, 03:13 AM
Heres one, how about, if i just told her that i am going to kiss her, and then kissed her, without ne questions or anything??? Would that be bold, or just prickish?
This is kind of what I was going to suggest.

For the most part, you will know if she wants to kiss you. If she's on a date with you -- especially if it's not your first date and both of you consider it a "date" -- she will probably want to kiss you. Therefore, asking, "Can I kiss you?" is unnecessary and makes you come off as unconfident and somewhat weak.

But, if you want to be "cute" (as so many others here have described it) then just ask, "Would you mind if I did this?" immediately followed with a kiss. However, this is tough and the situation has to be just right -- gazing into eachother's eyes, a little bit of silence, kind of like you're expecting the kiss.

Of course, the easiest way is to just go for it and don't say anything. Make it spontaneous. If it's too planned, it comes off that way. You don't want to seem like you rehearsed, do you?

[Cashew]

If the chemistry's good, I'm ALL FOR a lusty surprise kiss.

But... I'm NEVER up for being asked. I'm a girl that expects a guy to read the signs.

Listten to Eyver. ^

[-KT-]

I think you should just go for it when you feel the time is right.

[Riv]

I'm really not the type of girl who goes for the whole 'Can I kiss you??' bullshit. Not to say that I like guys who are complete assholes, or even sort of assholes. I just dont go for the -sweet- stuff very much. When I'm in a situation where I want to be kissed, the person I want to kiss proooooobaaaaaably has a pretty good idea unless theyre fuckin dense as hell but thats a different situation altogether. If I wanted to kiss someone, and then they ASKED if they could kiss me, Im pretty sure any desire to get some lip action with them would be gone. Of course thats just my opinion and Im sure there are many girls who think the exact opposite. Just work with the signs she gives and dont try to feel the back of her throat with your tounge and watch your teeth and you should be fine.

[newlysingle]

hmmm i'm kind of half half on the asking thing. i like it but i also like the spontaneous thing too. it has to be asked really cute.

but what about the guys? do you like to be asked?

[Lone_Raider]

Originally posted by newlysingle@Apr 22 2004, 01:33 AM
hmmm i'm kind of half half on the asking thing. i like it but i also like the spontaneous thing too. it has to be asked really cute.

but what about the guys? do you like to be asked?
A girl has never, ever made the advance to kiss me first. I've had to do it every single time. But you ask do guys care? We don't care left or right, ask us, don't ask us, it doesn't really matter! lol.

A comedian made a funny statement that he got married and all the girls he was friends with told him that he would have had the chance to have sex with them on certain nights, or at certain parties, but he was clueless, missed the signs and missed his chance. He then said, ladies, men don't have these windows of opportunity, their window never closes, they will have sex with you at anytime! LOL, and it is true. If you are friends with a guy, he would probably kiss you or have sex with you at any time :laugh:

[starkissed]

In most circumstances, I would probably say that I wouldn't want to be asked. It just ruins the moment. But I guess it depends on how it is done and the situation, etc. My current boyfriend asked me before he kissed me for the first time and it was just perfect. I thought it was so sweet and it just...worked. But 9 times out of 10, I'd definitely say don't ask. If you have a feeling she wants to be kissed, you're probably right, so just go for it.