Oh Man. This Didn't Go Well At Alllll

[ziggystardust]

Well i just dropped her off at her house. And everything was fine until we started making out. We started off on a small couch, and me not having made out before, was unsure how to position ourselves. so i was like...should i be on the left or right? and she was like...the top, loser. But i know she was kidding about the loser part, cus she says that alot. Okay, so that was just the start. Within the first 10 minutes, she said i was a sloppy kisser, to not use so much tongue, to close my mouth some, and apparently i started breathing through my mouth and she said "don't breath through your mouth!" seeming a liiitle put off. Then she made a comment about how it was like a tudoring session. (ouch! that's a stinger) I DO think I did the hickey's correctly though. After that, we went upstairs to my bed where she didn't make any more comments, but i don't know if it was just because she'd made so many already. So all in all, this is horrible. Oh, and when we went upstairs to my bedroom, i asked if she wanted any music on, and she said that was cliche.


Ok, and we are "boyfriend/girlfriend" but this was the first time we've been alone together, and when i dropped her off, i said the most awkward thing. She was getting out of the car, after a goodnight kiss. And i said, "thanks for coming over" and she said "ya..it was a huuge favor" and she seemed kinda weirded out by it.


Advice, comments plz. I feel so embarassed and horrible.

And btw, does frenching for a while invariably make your lips all saliva-y? Because she would break to wipe her mouth off every few minutes. Am i doin somethin wrong here?

[Rammstein39]

ok by no means am I an expert kisser, but when my b/f tried to french me by surprise, i had to wipe my mouth off afterward cuz he ended up licking my lips instead of in my mouth. I dunno if maybe you just have too much saliva in your mouth or what, but that could be it.

Im gonna shut up now b/c I dont really know much about kissing, lol.

[toychoke]

Kissing is an art refined into each relationship. However, there are a few overall pointers that will help make things better.

French kissing isn't porn style kissing. It's supposed to be a soft kiss that invovles a little more intimacy in it than regular one.

Also girls like cute kisses on the forehead for quick little kisses, however, during a hot and heavy make out session it's kind of like handing her a second grade valentine card at your wedding. Or at least it has been in my experience.

Also the erogenous(SP?) zone is the lips, not the skin around the lips. If she has to wipe your drool from her mouth when you're done than you know you've done it wrong. Learn to feel for what she wants. Also believe it or not, going into the situation with a lot of confidence will really make it easier for you. Also join you're schools theatre group. Nothing cleans up your kissing like being an actor in a play. If you can just moisten her lips without slobbering all over them than you've come a long way. That's usually the first step for most people to get over.

Be relaxed when you do it to, most people are too tensed up about screwing up and often over do it. If you can make her feel like she's the only one there, and that the rest of the room has faded out of existence than you know you're getting somewhere. Make her the center of attention and ignore yourself, and above all start out soft and sweet. If you're taking lessons from the school of porn on kissing than you really need to stop.

Also don't feel too bad about your corny line at the end of the night. If the relationship picks up that will eventually turn from a bad thing, to something she'll think is cute.

Also around french kissing. Go about it slow. Start with just kissing her on the lips, no tongue. As things heat up slowly let her know that you intend on frenching her. Start by opening her mouth she should respond in kind. If she doesn't than she's not ready for that type of kissing yet. If she opens her mouth ever so slightly allow your tongue to touch her lips, then retract. See how she responds, and then proceed from there. If you try to shove your tongue in there from the start you'll end up with you're drool all over her closed mouth. It needs to be something that both of you switch off with. At the beginning of every make out session people are tense, so starting out with a french kiss is a bad idea. Allow yourself to work your way into it. You'll find it more enjoyable that way too.

[ziggystardust]

alright, thx for the reply. She's the one that always dives straight into the french, so that's not my problem there. Maybe I wasn't really swallowing, that would obviously cause a saliva buildup. How should you go about swallowing? You can do a throat only swallow, but that doesn't clear the saliva in the front of the mouth. So do u regularly do the throat swallow, and then less regularly pull your tongue back into your own mouth and do a bigger swallow? (that would involve closing your lips for a second. is that okay?) ok, thx people.

[BlondTgr]

First off, your girlfriend seems kind of rude...

Second of all, swallowing is a MUST or else saliva is going to flow out of your mouth and that's pretty icky. I don't like wiping my face off after a makeout session. Major turn off. You just swallow naturally, don't think about it too much, because then you might not be able to make yourself do it. Breathing through your nose is another must, if you don't think about these things, they should come naturally...and of course all of this stuff takes practice, so I don't really understand why your girlfriend is surprised. Whenever you're with a new person, you have to get used to kissing them because everyone's different.

[LynzyLou*]

She probably had to wipe her mouth off because you forgot to swallow. When you are kissing, you still have to swallow the saliva in your mouth since it builds up.

And did you ask her if you were supposed to be on the left of right? lol no offense, but thats really funny. You arent supposed to be anywhere, and it kinda ruins the moment to ask things like that.

Hmm...I wasnt her though so I dunno what else could be fixed. Just practice hehe and Im sure you'll get better.

[LynzyLou*]

Originally posted by ziggystardust@Oct 18 2003, 09:22 AM
alright, thx for the reply. She's the one that always dives straight into the french, so that's not my problem there. Maybe I wasn't really swallowing, that would obviously cause a saliva buildup. How should you go about swallowing? You can do a throat only swallow, but that doesn't clear the saliva in the front of the mouth. So do u regularly do the throat swallow, and then less regularly pull your tongue back into your own mouth and do a bigger swallow? (that would involve closing your lips for a second. is that okay?) ok, thx people.
Closing your lips os perfectly fine!

[chair]

Hmm, swallowing during frenching is so intinctual, I don't even remember doing it! Weird...

Don't worry! Next time you're worried you're doing things wrong, maybe you should tell her that you're open to suggestions on improving from her, and that if you can make things better for her, she should go ahead and suggest them. Since it's your first time, she can't expect you to magically do everything. It's normal that you're nervous, but try to relax!

[ziggystardust]

Well she doesn't know that was my first time making out, btw. I'm sure she assumed I had done it before.

Hahaha. Well about the left/right, she was kinda moving around, adjusting, so i asked her, i think, where she wanted me to be. not where im "supposed" to be. but pretty much the same thing. ya, i feel rather stupid. no, i feel like a moron i mean. oh well, always next time to redeem myself. She gave me so much to think about with all her comments, it was making me self-concious, but it's better than her not saying anything to me i suppose. But she had a pretty bitchy tone to her voice, which wasn't helpful. Now i have to think about my breathing, my swallowing, how far in my tongue is, how open my mouth is.

Well she couldn't have been TOTALLY turned off by it all, cus she did take off her shirt after a bit.

Oh, one more thing. She didn't like how small the couch was, so i asked if she wanted to go upstairs. She that was "a little sketch." Then she said it like twice more, and i said "so you don't wanna go upstairs?" and she said, "no, that's fine." and so we went up to my bed. What do you think of that? Should i not have said that? Or what? There wasn't any other couch to use.