A Kiss In The Rain

[rabidcowfromhell]

Raindrops fall
Like shattered glass,
And you came to me in tears
Your clothes soaked wet.
We sat under
The jungle gym roof.
While we were shielded
From the rain,
Trapped in feelings
Became revealed.
Your head on my shoulder,
Your soul slipped out.
I held it delicately
In my rain drenched hands.
I told you
Everything would be all right,
And I consoled you
as the rain pounded down.
I got up to leave,
I got halfway to the street,
When you called out
And ran after me.
You came right up to me
And looked me straight in the eyes,
And then you kissed me.
You kissed me in the rain.

by the way, if anyone is wondering, no this didnt happen to me. but if it did....wow

[Randomdistortion]

That is the best you've ever written. The imagery is solid and real, I can see the scene you're describing right in front of my eyes. Your word choice is simple but in a good way, like Hemingway.

Most of your poems seem to focus on how you feel about a particular event or, in most cases, female. This one focuses on the event, but the description is so strong that your emotions come through more powerfully than anything else you've written.

This poem 0wnz0rz!

[ckgirl]

I think it has good flow, imagery, and feeling to it and I also like how you ended it with that last line. It just fits well together....definitly one of your better poems rabidcow :)

[Truth]

well done will.. good flow and imagery...


the Truth approves..

[E=mc^2]

I liked it.

[IloveChurk]

Raindrops fall(...)
Like shattered glass,
And you came to me in tears(.)
Your clothes soaked wet.
(As) We sat under
The jungle gym roof.
While(take out while) (We)we were shielded
From the rain,(.)
Trapped in feelings(...)
Became revealed.
(Resting)Your head on my shoulder,
Your soul slipped out.
I held it delicately
In my rain drenched hands.
I told you(...)
Everything would be all right,
And I consoled you
as the rain pounded down.
I got up to leave,
(take out I and putAnd) I got halfway to the street,
When you called out
And ran after me.
You came right up to me
And looked me straight in the eyes,
And then you kissed me.
You kissed me in the rain.
Thei things in () is what I think should be there I really liked the poem I could see it in my mind very clear and I liked that .