Disappointed

[Crash Override]

I wrote this the other day. It's not particularly good, still very much a rough draft...but I don't really have the energy to rework and touch it up myself, so maybe some of you can provide a few suggestions.

VERSE 1
I have to say
I'm disappointed in you.
I thought by now you'd grown up,
But I see that's not quite true.
Well I'm tired of playing these games,
Because you're better at them than I'll ever be,
And though I hate to say it,
I guess we are through.
And I'm sure you'll agree
You're better off without me.

CHORUS
I've waited long enough for this,
But I won't wait anymore.
I can't let my feelings for you
Keep me from walking out that door.
And I won't let you bring me down,
I can't sit here sad,
Because as disappointed as I am,
I know it's not that bad.
Actually, I'm kind of glad.

VERSE 2
But I can't forgive you this time,
Because now you've gone too far,
You'll never hear me sing again,
Or see me play guitar.
So I hope that it was worth it,
That upper hand you crave,
I hope that you enjoyed every second,
'Cause I'll never be your slave
Ever again.
No, never again.

CHORUS

VERSE 3
I guess this is goodbye,
Maybe someday we'll be friends again,
So call me when you fucking grow up,
And I'll see you in a year or ten.
They say you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone,
Well maybe tomorrow you'll find
That you had a great thing yesterday,
But then you chose to push him away,
And now he's leaving you behind.
He's put you out of his mind.

CHORUS

[chiukit]

daaamnnn those are wicked lyrics....
u should write more often buddy

[Randomdistortion]

VERSE 1
I have to say I'm disappointed in you
I thought by now you'd grown up,
But I see that's not quite true.
I'm tired of playing these stupid games,
Because you're better at them than I'll ever be,
And though I hate to say it I guess we are through.

And I'm sure you'll agree
You're better off without me!

CHORUS
I've waited long enough for this but I won't wait anymore.
I can't let my feelings for you keep me from walking out that door.
And I won't let you bring me down,
I can't sit here sad,
Because as disappointed as I am,
I know it's not that bad.


Actually, I'm kind of glad.

VERSE 2
But I can't forgive you this time,
Because now you've gone too far,
You'll never hear me sing again,
Or see me play guitar.
So I hope that it was worth it,
That upper hand you crave,
I hope that you enjoyed every second,
'Cause I'll never be your slave


Ever again.
No, never again

CHORUS

VERSE 3
Maybe someday we'll be friends again,
But for now this is the end,
So call me when you fucking grow up,
And I'll see you in a year or ten.
They say you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone,
Well maybe tomorrow you'll find

That you had a great thing yesterday,
But then you chose to push him away,
And now he's leaving you behind.


He's put you out of his mind.

CHORUS

<repeat verse 3 all angry like and really grind it into that bitch's eye! HYAAAH!>

Well you asked for polishing so I tried. I'm fairly sure I completely missed the entire tone that you were trying to set, and its your work. I felt kind of like the kid who always messed up that cool thing you made out of legos back in like fourth grade, but maybe how badly I mangled it will give you inspiration to fix it up :)
Anyways after I thought i had a feel for the song I put some pauses in and I think I added like two lines.
Maybe this helps get your brain going?

[Danae]

sounds like Dashboard heh.



good stuff, hon.

[chiukit]

Yeah, I think it's too bad you're not sending this to her anymore! Haha, which is a good thing...