BigJim
March 5th, 2002, 09:10 PM
Foreplay
For those unaware, foreplay is the acts leading up to sex, including kissing, french kissing, touching, licking, feeling and generally exploring your partner. It's very important that you spend a decent time with your foreplay, because generally the more foreplay, the better the sex, especially for her, as I'll talk about in the next bit. Guys who skip foreplay skip having lots of fun, turning her and themselves on.
The Erogenous Zones
This is perhaps the most important part of making love to a woman, and the most commonly unknown thing by guys. Too many guys (who are pretty lousy in bed) think that the way to satisfy her is to ignore foreplay and just pound into her. Exactly the opposite. Women don't get especially turned on or pleasured by the feelings that come from inside their vagina. Many women can't even orgasm from vaginal sex. To make a women orgasm, you have to use their whole body to get them aroused and turned on, before and while you are making love. As described, foreplay is very important to turn her on, but also to get her natural lubricant flowing. For those not in the know, before the penis can enter the vagina, the vagina must be lubricated, usually with the natural lubricant which the girl produces in the vagina when she's turned on (know as 'being wet'). The following are the specific parts of a women's body, the seven main erogenous zones, which can give her the best feelings, and exactly how to stimulate them well.
1) The Lips: An obvious spot, but important. Kissing, french kissing, all good.
2) The Neck: Caressing, kissing, licking the neck will give her great feelings; also follow the bones around her neck and too her shoulders with your tongue for much goodness.
3) & 4) The Breasts: Most guys know these spots, but really don't know how to give them the affection they deserve. The nipples are super-sensitive, and kissing and licking them is great, but the fleshy parts of the breasts also give her great feelings. Kiss, massage, fondle, lick them all over; don't just focus on the nipples.
5) The Tummy/Stomach: This is a very nice spot to be creative; licking and kissing the belly button is good, and also running your fingers along her curves, massaging the area, all can be good.
6) The Clitorus: Tapping and rubbing the clitorus is all good, as it's only reason for existence is for pleasure. Also, licking and kissing it is great.
7) The G-Spot: The spot on the end of the spine located a few inches into the vagina; super sensitive nerve that gives her great feeling, often during sex, but may not be enough to make her orgasm.
Stimulating these areas, going back and forth between them, before and during sex is the key to being a good lover. Starting with kissing, then slowly touching her, then undressing her etc is the common thing to do, and it works well. Just keep some variety in mind and use her whole body to your (and her) advantage.
Experimenting with your partner is important to find out exactly what does the most for her, since all girls are different and some are more sensitive that others. A couple of hints- you can tell when she's really aroused, often by a red 'hot flushed' face, the sounds she's making, or how wet she is. Also, if a girl has been pierced in the belly button or nipple or ears, it can make that area more sensitive and arouse her more.
Another site with some of the other erogenous zones is here for your pleasure: http://www.maximonline.com/articles/defaul...article_id=4055 (http://www.maximonline.com/articles/default.asp?article_id=4055)
This is the most important knowledge you can know, in my humble opinion, to be a good lover. Everything else comes with patience to not rush through sex and make it as enjoyable as possible for both parties, and experimentation. Never be afraid to try something new! (as long as it isn't painful or illegal... probably)
Sexual Positions
Some sexual positions are more pleasurable for women than others. Although the most well known position, the missionary position, may suffice and be fun, it's important to try other things, expecially if the girl is experienced.
Doggy Style is both good and bad; good because the G-Spot is stimulated more than the missionary position, but bad because there is no face-to-face contact or chance to arouse the rest of her body. I would recommend it for a long sex session where you have a chance to have sex many times.
An alteration on the Missionary Position which can be especially pleasurable is to have her legs hooked over your shoulders while you are inside her, which stimulates her G-spot really, really well, and also allows you to stimulate the rest of her body. This is also recommended if you are having sex with a virgin because it will be more pleasurable for her.
Having the girl on top is good for her, because it gives her more control, and still gives you a chance to stimulate, hold and kiss her.
These are just some positions, there are other, better ones, but to begin with any of these are very good. Changing positions during sex is also good; variety is definately welcome.
Premature Ejaculation
Lots of guys are worried about this, and shouldn't. Even the most experienced Man-Slut occasionally comes early, and it's not that important. Because good sex doesn't involve just banging into her, if you come early, pull out and 'work' on her while you wait to sustain another erection. Focus on her vagina while you wait - lick her, touch her, finger her until you are ready to go again. No problem!
There are also ways to lengthen the time it takes you to orgasm through masturbation. 'Train' yourself, try watching a whole porno while masturbating and not coming until the very end. This works for some guys, but not for others.
Some General Hints and a Conclusion
- Variation is the key. Even with your first time, using variety with both positions, stimulation and situation can produce really sexy results for both you and your girlfriend.
- Although there are genital 'exercises' to make yourself last longer, some of them are painful and can cause permanent damage, so they aren't really the magical fix that some porn sites say they are.
- On the subject of porn: porn isn't as educational as many people think. Although porn films and sites offer different ideas and positions (often involving more than two people, and sometimes various animals) they really don't offer valuable advice on sex because they are manufactured to turn you on, ignoring real sex facts. A lot of what is shown to turn a women on in a porno can actually be quite uncomfortable and painful.
- Women, and people in general, prefer to be in control. Keep this in mind when making love, not to be too experimental or do things that make her uncomfortable. In a mature relationship, discuss and know the borders.
For those unaware, foreplay is the acts leading up to sex, including kissing, french kissing, touching, licking, feeling and generally exploring your partner. It's very important that you spend a decent time with your foreplay, because generally the more foreplay, the better the sex, especially for her, as I'll talk about in the next bit. Guys who skip foreplay skip having lots of fun, turning her and themselves on.
The Erogenous Zones
This is perhaps the most important part of making love to a woman, and the most commonly unknown thing by guys. Too many guys (who are pretty lousy in bed) think that the way to satisfy her is to ignore foreplay and just pound into her. Exactly the opposite. Women don't get especially turned on or pleasured by the feelings that come from inside their vagina. Many women can't even orgasm from vaginal sex. To make a women orgasm, you have to use their whole body to get them aroused and turned on, before and while you are making love. As described, foreplay is very important to turn her on, but also to get her natural lubricant flowing. For those not in the know, before the penis can enter the vagina, the vagina must be lubricated, usually with the natural lubricant which the girl produces in the vagina when she's turned on (know as 'being wet'). The following are the specific parts of a women's body, the seven main erogenous zones, which can give her the best feelings, and exactly how to stimulate them well.
1) The Lips: An obvious spot, but important. Kissing, french kissing, all good.
2) The Neck: Caressing, kissing, licking the neck will give her great feelings; also follow the bones around her neck and too her shoulders with your tongue for much goodness.
3) & 4) The Breasts: Most guys know these spots, but really don't know how to give them the affection they deserve. The nipples are super-sensitive, and kissing and licking them is great, but the fleshy parts of the breasts also give her great feelings. Kiss, massage, fondle, lick them all over; don't just focus on the nipples.
5) The Tummy/Stomach: This is a very nice spot to be creative; licking and kissing the belly button is good, and also running your fingers along her curves, massaging the area, all can be good.
6) The Clitorus: Tapping and rubbing the clitorus is all good, as it's only reason for existence is for pleasure. Also, licking and kissing it is great.
7) The G-Spot: The spot on the end of the spine located a few inches into the vagina; super sensitive nerve that gives her great feeling, often during sex, but may not be enough to make her orgasm.
Stimulating these areas, going back and forth between them, before and during sex is the key to being a good lover. Starting with kissing, then slowly touching her, then undressing her etc is the common thing to do, and it works well. Just keep some variety in mind and use her whole body to your (and her) advantage.
Experimenting with your partner is important to find out exactly what does the most for her, since all girls are different and some are more sensitive that others. A couple of hints- you can tell when she's really aroused, often by a red 'hot flushed' face, the sounds she's making, or how wet she is. Also, if a girl has been pierced in the belly button or nipple or ears, it can make that area more sensitive and arouse her more.
Another site with some of the other erogenous zones is here for your pleasure: http://www.maximonline.com/articles/defaul...article_id=4055 (http://www.maximonline.com/articles/default.asp?article_id=4055)
This is the most important knowledge you can know, in my humble opinion, to be a good lover. Everything else comes with patience to not rush through sex and make it as enjoyable as possible for both parties, and experimentation. Never be afraid to try something new! (as long as it isn't painful or illegal... probably)
Sexual Positions
Some sexual positions are more pleasurable for women than others. Although the most well known position, the missionary position, may suffice and be fun, it's important to try other things, expecially if the girl is experienced.
Doggy Style is both good and bad; good because the G-Spot is stimulated more than the missionary position, but bad because there is no face-to-face contact or chance to arouse the rest of her body. I would recommend it for a long sex session where you have a chance to have sex many times.
An alteration on the Missionary Position which can be especially pleasurable is to have her legs hooked over your shoulders while you are inside her, which stimulates her G-spot really, really well, and also allows you to stimulate the rest of her body. This is also recommended if you are having sex with a virgin because it will be more pleasurable for her.
Having the girl on top is good for her, because it gives her more control, and still gives you a chance to stimulate, hold and kiss her.
These are just some positions, there are other, better ones, but to begin with any of these are very good. Changing positions during sex is also good; variety is definately welcome.
Premature Ejaculation
Lots of guys are worried about this, and shouldn't. Even the most experienced Man-Slut occasionally comes early, and it's not that important. Because good sex doesn't involve just banging into her, if you come early, pull out and 'work' on her while you wait to sustain another erection. Focus on her vagina while you wait - lick her, touch her, finger her until you are ready to go again. No problem!
There are also ways to lengthen the time it takes you to orgasm through masturbation. 'Train' yourself, try watching a whole porno while masturbating and not coming until the very end. This works for some guys, but not for others.
Some General Hints and a Conclusion
- Variation is the key. Even with your first time, using variety with both positions, stimulation and situation can produce really sexy results for both you and your girlfriend.
- Although there are genital 'exercises' to make yourself last longer, some of them are painful and can cause permanent damage, so they aren't really the magical fix that some porn sites say they are.
- On the subject of porn: porn isn't as educational as many people think. Although porn films and sites offer different ideas and positions (often involving more than two people, and sometimes various animals) they really don't offer valuable advice on sex because they are manufactured to turn you on, ignoring real sex facts. A lot of what is shown to turn a women on in a porno can actually be quite uncomfortable and painful.
- Women, and people in general, prefer to be in control. Keep this in mind when making love, not to be too experimental or do things that make her uncomfortable. In a mature relationship, discuss and know the borders.