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View Full Version : My forays into the songwriting realm...


Crash Override
November 23rd, 2002, 01:05 AM
Well, this is a song I wrote about one of the main differences between me and my ex-girlfriend.
Any and all comments welcome. You don't have to go easy on me or anything, criticize away; I can take it. :P

It's called Jesus Fish.

JESUS FISH
Dangling from your keychain
Is a Jesus fish,
So unassuming and so plain;
It vexes me with every sway,
Mocking me as if to say
"I'm more important,
By the way,
Than you will ever be.
And if she ever has to choose
Between us, who do you think will lose?"

CHORUS
Every time we kiss
I feel the Jesus fish,
Swimming in your head
Against the current of our bliss.
Whispering waves of guilt,
Warning, "nothing more than this."
Nothing more than this.

And always when I reminisce
About the girl I'll always miss,
I see it there, burned into my brain...
Smug and swaying in the air,
A character of my despair;
An emblem of things gone awry.
The reasons for our pained goodbye,
A symbol of the differences
Between us, you and I.

chiukit
November 23rd, 2002, 04:23 PM
its good bil...
jesus fish

i never thot of it that way

Asphodelle13
November 23rd, 2002, 04:53 PM
Excellent...damn, dude, I wish I had that talent. Hmm, I really don't have any harsh criticism..It has good form and rhythm...powerful and vivid wording...Great job.

Aurie
November 24th, 2002, 05:15 PM
i like it, bil. *smiles* somehow i think i know what this is about too...hehe. down with the jesus fish!

dulcinea
November 24th, 2002, 05:26 PM
AURIE! long time no see! hee. :P

anyway, Bil, I've pretty much finished it. :mrgreen: so now I just have to go home and get a four-track and record it for you.

Crash Override
November 24th, 2002, 06:01 PM
AURIE! long time no see! hee. :P

anyway, Bil, I've pretty much finished it. :mrgreen: so now I just have to go home and get a four-track and record it for you.
YAY!

For those who don't know, the lovely and multi-talented Julie has graciously agreed to put vocals and guitar to this. I'm excited to see how it turns out. :mrgreen:

chiukit
November 24th, 2002, 08:18 PM
aurie...... woah. long time.

Randomdistortion
November 25th, 2002, 02:07 AM
f-f-f-f-f-f-f-FRIGGEN SICK!
That is SO EXACTLY what has pissed me off about several girls I know/knew/will know in the future.
put the MP3 up here soon! I wanna hear this.

rabidcowfromhell
November 25th, 2002, 02:18 AM
jesus!

you....fish

sorry
that's really cool
go darwin!

Tortuga
November 25th, 2002, 02:34 AM
^^^ Umm, yeah...

Anyway. Crash, even though I don't agree with the message, I still think it's really good, and I'd like to hear the final product.

Tortuga

dulcinea
November 25th, 2002, 09:15 PM
I'll try to record it when I go home for thanksgiving (wednesday night through sunday) and we'll see what happens. :mrgreen: