Is he into me?

[a_j]

So I work with a guy, who over the last few months, I've gotten to know a little and I like him. When I first started working there this passed January, I thought he was cute. Then one day outta the blue, about 4 months ago, he started hugging me on a daily basis. At the time, I only knew who he was. I started digging around for info, and watching to see if he did this hugging thing with anybody else. He doesn't.

Long story short, I think he likes me. We've gotten to know each other and other people t work have begun to notice the way we act around and towards each other and begun to say things about it. And then I made myself look like a fool last night. My drunken self texted him and said we should get together and hang out sometime. The text I got back was "Nows not a good time." Kinda confusing given that everything else points me to believe he likes me.

Help. :eusa_wall :eusa_eh:

[phasesofthemoon]

So I work with a guy, who over the last few months, I've gotten to know a little and I like him. When I first started working there this passed January, I thought he was cute. Then one day outta the blue, about 4 months ago, he started hugging me on a daily basis. At the time, I only knew who he was. I started digging around for info, and watching to see if he did this hugging thing with anybody else. He doesn't.

Long story short, I think he likes me. We've gotten to know each other and other people t work have begun to notice the way we act around and towards each other and begun to say things about it. And then I made myself look like a fool last night. My drunken self texted him and said we should get together and hang out sometime. The text I got back was "Nows not a good time." Kinda confusing given that everything else points me to believe he likes me.

Help. :eusa_wall :eusa_eh: "Now is not a good time" hmm, do ya think he was with his GIRLFRIEND?

Before you crush or get in any deeper, make sure he's available to get in deep because relationships that start out "complicated" only end up even more twisted then they began. When you were doing your digging, did you even think to enquire if he was in any sort of committed relationship?

[a_j]

I did ask that while doing my digging and I was told he is single.

[phasesofthemoon]

I did ask that while doing my digging and I was told he is single.

Did you ask him?

In any event, it would appear that he likes you if he's giving you hugs. What isn't clear is if he likes you in a romantic sense or like you're his little sister.

You've made it clear that you're interested in him by your text.. and, you shouldn't feel like an ass over doing that.. Leave it now and see if he initiates getting together and progresses the interaction between the two of you past work hugs and little chats. No need to feel awkward or any of that useless emotion. Nothing has changed.

[Kuky]

No more drunk texting. In person only, or call if you have a specific thing in mind where you won't see him in person before.

[jlwelch]

Well, I think the real problem is that if a guy likes you in a way beyond just having sex, his primary concern is being cautious not to blow it. It is well known amongst men that if you tell her early on that you like her you come off as eager, and that is no good. Dating her, giving her the occasional flirting (but not overdoing it) seems to be the most successful way of doing things for us. Besides, flirting is how people (men and women) let the other know that they like them anyway. I wouldn't say it is playing games, it is his effort to be subtle and hopefully more successful.

Don't expect him to be direct and say "I like you" unless you are at the point where he is prepared to ask you to be his girlfriend.