RK Down South
June 9th, 2010, 02:02 PM
I have been seeing a great girl for going on two years. She is divorced and so am I. We started seeing each other while we were working together. We managed to keep private and business lives separate, but we got to see each other every day. That went on for the first year of our relationship and we were both very happy. We traveled together she was a frequent overnight guest and she expressed a lot of feelings towards me. After the first year we were together she left the company that we worked for and went to work in a job outside of the city that we live in. We did a good job of making time to see each other. She would spend a night or two at my house each week or I would drive to see her. We communicated frequently and things seemed to be going very well.
I must admit I missed seeing her everyday and I missed basically living with her. At the beginning of the year she took a new job so we are back in the same city. About that same time I left the place we used to work and started looking for a new job. She was working long hours in a new position and I had nothing, but time on my hands. I got depressed and self-medicated the situation with alcohol. Not all the time, but enough to get her upset. We talked a few weeks back and she told me that her ex had a problem with alcohol and it's something she doesn't want to deal with again. She also said that she never asked her ex to choose between not drinking and her because she was afraid she would lose the decision. She said she wouldn’t ask me to choose for the same reason. She says she still loves me and we still she each other although much less than before. When we speak or when we see each other it is because I have initiated the contact. I send a text, or make a call, or go to her apartment to spend the night. I am in a new job and I am enjoying it very much so far. I am not using alcohol to cover my depression. In fact I've been speaking to a professional to help me deal with myself.
Let me tell you some things about her before I ask some questions. She is on medication for anxiety and other issues. She drinks and smokes weed daily, but I've never seen her lose her self-control. She has never had anyone in her life that does the things I do for her, open doors, surprise her with small gifts, remember her birthday, cook her favorite meals for her. She has told me on these occasions that I'm too good for her. When she says this I tell her she deserves these things and more, and I truly mean it. She makes me very happy. She has made me feel loved and very important in the past.
Ok question time, she says she still loves me, but she wants to slow things down. Does this mean I shouldn't call her, text her or ask to see her? Should I allow her to reach out for me? If I do call her should I wait a few days before calling her?
The last thing I want to do is to seem desperate or annoying, but at the same time I want to see her and have her in my life. I am confidant that we built a good friendship in the beginning and that progressed to a relationship that was mutually beneficial. I want to get back to that place.
Any advise would help.
I must admit I missed seeing her everyday and I missed basically living with her. At the beginning of the year she took a new job so we are back in the same city. About that same time I left the place we used to work and started looking for a new job. She was working long hours in a new position and I had nothing, but time on my hands. I got depressed and self-medicated the situation with alcohol. Not all the time, but enough to get her upset. We talked a few weeks back and she told me that her ex had a problem with alcohol and it's something she doesn't want to deal with again. She also said that she never asked her ex to choose between not drinking and her because she was afraid she would lose the decision. She said she wouldn’t ask me to choose for the same reason. She says she still loves me and we still she each other although much less than before. When we speak or when we see each other it is because I have initiated the contact. I send a text, or make a call, or go to her apartment to spend the night. I am in a new job and I am enjoying it very much so far. I am not using alcohol to cover my depression. In fact I've been speaking to a professional to help me deal with myself.
Let me tell you some things about her before I ask some questions. She is on medication for anxiety and other issues. She drinks and smokes weed daily, but I've never seen her lose her self-control. She has never had anyone in her life that does the things I do for her, open doors, surprise her with small gifts, remember her birthday, cook her favorite meals for her. She has told me on these occasions that I'm too good for her. When she says this I tell her she deserves these things and more, and I truly mean it. She makes me very happy. She has made me feel loved and very important in the past.
Ok question time, she says she still loves me, but she wants to slow things down. Does this mean I shouldn't call her, text her or ask to see her? Should I allow her to reach out for me? If I do call her should I wait a few days before calling her?
The last thing I want to do is to seem desperate or annoying, but at the same time I want to see her and have her in my life. I am confidant that we built a good friendship in the beginning and that progressed to a relationship that was mutually beneficial. I want to get back to that place.
Any advise would help.