Need some advice

[pazz]

Hi all ive just joined up and im not sure if this is the right place to post this sort of thread but would love some advice.

I'm a guy whos just turned 23 living in the UK. Ive never had a girlfriend in my life and i find it so hard to even go up to a girl and talk to her. Ive always found it hard to talk to people i don't know and have only really had a close circle of friends (3or4 max.) Now my friends are moving on with girlfriends etc and ive sat here feeling like i havn't grown up since college.

My life at the moment consists of getting up going to work, coming home and sitting at home feeling depressed. There arn't any women at my work so thats not an option.

I often think of starting to do things such as exercise to make me feel better but i never do anything about it and feel the worse for it. Like now i feel like i'll go for a run in the morning it'll make me feel better but i know in all likelyhood i won't do it.

My social life consists of watchin movies/playing world of warcraft (sad i know) i also like to rock climb but as i can't drive i can't clmib as often as i would like.

I've had loads of advice from my friends saying that i will eventually find someone and be happy but i just can't see it happening. I have really low self esteem i look in the mirror and think got who'd ever fall for this!? How am i meant to find someone if i can't even get the balls to go over to a girl and say hi. It really gets me down alot.



I know you guys are probly sick of hereing this same crap over and over but some advice would be appreciated

[Rogue4Rent]

Hi all ive just joined up and im not sure if this is the right place to post this sort of thread but would love some advice.

I'm a guy whos just turned 23 living in the UK. Ive never had a girlfriend in my life and i find it so hard to even go up to a girl and talk to her. Ive always found it hard to talk to people i don't know and have only really had a close circle of friends (3or4 max.) Now my friends are moving on with girlfriends etc and ive sat here feeling like i havn't grown up since college.

Young Brother, This is the right place and the right time. I've written and advised and mentored on this subject ad nauseum, and it never gets old. Welcome to the club my man. We ALL go through this at one point in our live or another. Take solace in that fact and know that you're not alone.

Now, let's begin...

My life at the moment consists of getting up going to work, coming home and sitting at home feeling depressed. There arn't any women at my work so thats not an option.

What kind of workplace has no women? Are you a dishwasher in a prison? I'm kidding of course :lol3:. You may work where there aren't any chicks but you certainly don't live in a town free of them. Or are you trapped on Homo Island?

I often think of starting to do things such as exercise to make me feel better but i never do anything about it and feel the worse for it. Like now i feel like i'll go for a run in the morning it'll make me feel better but i know in all likelyhood i won't do it.

You're going to have to get off your ass and do something. No other way to do it but to do it. Start with small goals, attainable in a very small time span, say 48 hours. You want to run, before you go to bed set out your clothes to do it. When you wake up you'll be reminded of the intent and it'll make it a reality instead of a want to.

My social life consists of watchin movies/playing world of warcraft (sad i know) i also like to rock climb but as i can't drive i can't clmib as often as i would like.

Moderation is the key. Watching movies/playing WoW is like masturbation. You can only do it for so long in a day before it becomes physically impossible to keep going. Re-frame your mentality on these pass-the-time interferences.

I've had loads of advice from my friends saying that i will eventually find someone and be happy but i just can't see it happening. I have really low self esteem i look in the mirror and think got who'd ever fall for this!? How am i meant to find someone if i can't even get the balls to go over to a girl and say hi. It really gets me down alot.

You can't get a little bit pregnant brother. If there's something about yourself you want to change, change it. Do it for you and not for your friends or, god forbid, a girl. Your self image starts from the inside and works itself out, not the reverse. Start with changing your belief system and how you value yourself. I overcame this with working out and busting my ass physically. The harder I worked, the better I felt, the more my mental state matured.

I know you guys are probly sick of hereing this same crap over and over but some advice would be appreciated

Never. We should all be so lucky as to have had a place to come to to ask these questions. When I was a kid we had two styrofoam cups and a string to ask these questions or we just found our way.

As I said, you're not alone in this struggle to find your path.

Start now by setting up and achieving 3 goals within the next week. Doesn't matter what they are as long as they're completely different than something you're doing now which you want to change.

I'm giving you until next Saturday to list them, get your ass off the fucking couch and achieve them, then report them here.

You accomplish those, we'll start some other exercises.

Get cracking and welcome to the Brotherhood.

[Bath of Glitter]

I've had loads of advice from my friends saying that i will eventually find someone and be happy

That's not advice, that's encouragement.

It seems that you're conditioned into a routine. Break out while you can, so no more weeks, months, or even years go by. Do something, even small to break your routine.

Analyzing why you "can't" say hello to a girl might help. What is the worst that can happen? She'll look at you weird, or ignore you? So what. Move on to the next girl who's friendly. Gain experience by practicing now before you're 40 and in the same boat. And that isn't meant to incite fear regarding the future. Do it out of desire for change, not fear.

[Talnoy]

A way you could get out and more fit/active as well as meet some new people is to get into a martial arts class like muay thai, or even just straight up karate.

It will teach you some good lifestyle changes, educate you about moving around and doing things, as well as get you closer to more people through sparring and competition. There might not be any women in any dojos near you, but the friend aspect lets you network further out and makes you available to more women who might be friends with the people you'll meet.

Just go toward your passions - if you feel you need to be more active, then MOVE :twisted: