"...I never had a clue about what I was missing..."

[dulcinea]

Okay. As some of you may have noticed, I have this great boyfriend now. And we definitely kissed for the first time (okay, first several times) yesterday. And it was really, REALLY nice. :mrgreen:

But I have this problem. I've never seriously kissed a guy (read: frenching/making out) in my eighteen years of wandering this earth. I just get WAY too nervous and freak out. I can't kiss anyone for more than a second or two before I HAVE to pull away. and it's not like I haven't kissed many guys, to be honest with you. I mean, it's been a while, but it's not like I'm entirely ignorant as to how this works. It's almost like a panic attack, if you've ever had one- suddenly, things just get so intense that I can't stand it anymore, even if it's all but the most casual kiss in the universe.

Since I plan on staying with this particular boyfriend for at least a while (:P), I'm obviously going to have to find a way to deal with this. I like kissing him. Very, very much. But I can't do it for any length of time without panicking, and it really bothers me.

Anyone got any ideas? Help? Please? :o

[IGemini]

Off the top of my head, I'm guessing your paranoid about other people seeing you, or your safeties of concern for falling too fast are still on. My advice is to get as private a place as you can, and breaking out of your shell is simply a matter of will power. I'll post more if I can come up with it, my brain is kinda having a one-on-one with sinus pressure.

[Marty McFly]

yup... practice. That's all it will take. Keep practicing until you think you got it and then practice some more.

[sweet-one]

You might want to try talking to him about it. Let him know that you're just a little nervous with kissing for extended periods of time. But, in agreement with Kyle and Marty McFly, practice should ease the tension and anxiety you're feeling. You'll have to make yourself loosen up though...will power and determination are the keys. Good luck! *hugs*

[dulcinea]

You might want to try talking to him about it. Let him know that you're just a little nervous with kissing for extended periods of time.
he knows that I'm, umm, scared shitless because I haven't been involved with somebody in so long. And the issue of us kissing for a long time hasn't come up yet, but I figured I'd start preparing myself for it so that I don't freak out when it does. :lol:

[Cherisse]

I agree with sweet-one. Tell him about it, just so he doesn't have any doubts about himself. Let him know that it's just you being panicky, and that you just need to work on it.
I was the same way. I just couldn't bring myself to stick my tongue in a person's mouth if I hadn't already kissed them like that. It doesn't make sense, but that's how it was. I just pushed myself to go along with it if someone wanted to kiss me like that.
And since you like this guy so much, you'll be fine.
Good luck. ;)

[Sydney123456]

::cries from Cherisse's tag::

Anywho...

I'm impressed that he knows that you are scared. Good communication skills. I don't see a problem if you keep that up. And if he's willing to wiat for you, or take you step by step into kissing, then more power to you guys! I read your post in Dating...and he seems like a nice enough guy to care about you enough to take it slow with you.

As far as I see...you're doing a good job with the relationship part. :)

Anyways, just relax a little. No little kiss will alter your relationship. I think relaxation is the key to you being able to kiss like you want to.

[hunny]

Heh.
Baby steps, that's your answer. Like conquering any other fear or phobia, you have to keep doing the 'thing' that makes you panic. But do it a little bit at a time, so that you feel you have more 'control' over the whole situation.
Just kiss him, briefly. Then try holding the kiss, next time, for a second or two longer than your 'comfort level' allows.
See? Nothing bad happened, did it? You liked it, right?
Ok, then. Repeat, and hold again. And again.
You get the picture.
Sometimes we can over think things, and I think that's one of your problems. Come out of your own head a little, and relax. Just feel, don't think. Some things don't require so much thought. Kissing is definitely one of those things. It's best enjoyed for what it is, and in the moment in which it happens.
You can do this.

[super_chevy2000]

I agree with the others that said to talk to him about it.

[dulcinea]

Everyone's saying talk to him about it... and I'm telling ya that he already knows :P. We have a pretty good line of communication going. He's not expecting much out of me, at least I'm TELLING him not to, but that doesn't change the fact that I still can't do it. :o

but thanks a lot, guys, I appreciate it.

[Minimus]

try pretending your making out with a pillow...or that your dreaming...Or get real piss ass ripped...

But otherwise your gonna have to take some big nasal deep breathes and just relax about it. I couldn't think of any other advice to give. :cool3:

[dulcinea]

Or get real piss ass ripped...
heh, not a good suggestion for me, because I'm what they call the Reclusive Drunk. If I did that, I'd end up hiding in a corner somewhere and refusing to come out. I've done it at parties & such every single time :P.

but yeah, thanks everybody... he's coming over on Sunday, so with any luck, I'll get some practise in ;).

[dulcinea]

...Problem SOLVED! :mrgreen:

*dances around with a big stupid grin on her face*

It wasn't scary, and it was SO MUCH EASIER than I thought. Heh, once we were done, he looked at me and said "All this, and a great kisser too!" :P

*dances around some more*

[Cherisse]

<dances with dulcinea> Kissing is fun. Told you. <keeps dancing>

[Trixy5234]

Oh my gosh dulcy I'm so happy for you!! This is so exciting. Umm...I dont know what to tell you about the freaking out thing...hopfully soon youll get more comfortable wth him and you wont freak out. Try not to think about every little detail though.

[Danae]

Aww, yay! :mrgreen: Good for you hon :)