older girl at college

[corey1985]

Hi everyone,

I saw a girl (she's 27 and a senior) who is a team member in my Biology lab sitting with a finely dressed and very beatiful girl across the auditorium on Wednesday.

After class, I went over to ask my team mate about meeting to work on our project later in the week, and to get a closer look :). Later that day I decided to just be a man and email her to see who her friend was. I told her I don't get to meet alot of mature girls my age so she could probably relate to how I felt.

I got an email from her a few hours later saying that was her friend from the class that takes place before ours and that as a pre-med major she likes to sit in sometimes. Then she let me know that her friend was 32, but is gorgeous and doesn't look it at all.

I'm kind of torn. She didn't say anything about being married or having a bf. That's usually the first things girls say about themselves or a friend. What should I do? My lab partner told me to just be positive, and that she met her bf on campus.

I don't know this girl but I kind of like the idea of a girl that is older and has serious goals in life and I can't stop thinking about her.

I don't know if it is smart to try and ask my lab partner about her again as we basically closed the book on the issue-I don't want to go behind her back either as they are friends.

I'm one of those people who likes to know something is definite and have closure than spend the rest of my life wondering what-if because right now it's killing me.

If she's not available that's ok, but with so much competition in college I have to exhaust all possibilities.

Whay do you guys think?





P.S. I'm new on here, and I don't think I am breaking any rules, but go easy on me if I am Thanks.

[Fishface]

two things -

Firstly, I would say there's nothing wrong with bringing up the topic again to quickly ask if she's available. You don't want to look like an ass if she's married or something.

But, secondly, girls usually hate it when you use their friends to get to them. It would be best if you just spoke with the girl you're interested in and cut out the middle man.

[corey1985]

Thanks for a reply!

I plan to approach my lab partner on Monday after class and say, "hey, I was thinking over the weekend and the age thing doesn't bother me, I'm still interested in ____ so could you introduce me?"

Something along those lines.

Either she'll get upset with me for pushing it....

or

She's going to tell me her friends is in a relationship....

or

I'll get to meet her this girl

Anybody else have a thought on this?

[Deidre]

Why would she get upset with you for pushing it? And what's the worst thing that could happen if she did?

If you're worried that she'll react badly, then preface your question with some kind of apology. "I hope it doesn't bother you that I'm treating you as a go-between like this..." or whatever. For most part, people are not upset about being "used" for these things so much as their time and energy being taken for granted. Acknowledging that you are asking for a favour and that you appreciate it goes a long way.

[Deidre]

Why would she get upset with you for pushing it? And what's the worst thing that could happen if she did?

If you're worried that she'll react badly, then preface your question with some kind of apology. "I hope it doesn't bother you that I'm treating you as a go-between like this..." or whatever. For most part, people are not upset about being "used" for these things so much as their time and energy being taken for granted. Acknowledging that you are asking for a favour and that you appreciate it goes a long way.

[corey1985]

She's kind of a serious person even though her email was nice. I find it very odd that she never mentioned anything about a relationship and even though the girl/woman from my class had a ring on her finger it didn't look like a wedding ring but some kind of artsy ring that was multiple colors. I'm kind of nervous the more i think about this. I'm excited though so thanks for the encouragement!

[corey1985]

I asked her after class today is she could introduce me Wednesday and she said she'll ask her friend!

[corey1985]

I didn't get to meet her friend; doesn't date I hear.

Anyhow there is a girl who I believe rides the bus as she has a lanyard for it and the other day at dinner I noticed she really dresses up now and fixes her hair nice. It's quite a drastic change and she looks amazing.

Yesterday I was at lunch and saw her at a table with a few of her friends so I walk up to give her my number. It's spring break so I figured if I didn't act right there I'd be angry I didn't talk to her. I took a apice of paper and wrote my name and walked up to her table. I greet everyone by just saying hey how's it going. I placed the paper on the table, and pointed at it. I said you should give me a call sometime to her. I told everyone to have a good spring break as politely as I could and left the cafeteria.

That's the scariest thing I have ever done, but did I do okay?

[Panda]

I think you did really well! Know that there is always a chance that things will not work out and she won't call you, but also know that there is a chance she will! Good on you for being assertive! :)

[corey1985]

Thanks, I posted this story two other places online and aside from one comment I am getting alot of postive feedback. I don't think I am gonna hear from her but maybe after spring break I could approach her again; any ideas?

[melvern]

It will be more interesting if you date with an older girl :D

[corey1985]

I don't know this girl's age, but if you missed a post she wouldn't agree to meet me. I want to speak to this girl I gave my number to again because she lives on campus so I can see her alot and I believe she rides the bus so I would have someone to hang out with as I ride the bus too since I am looking for a car.

[corey1985]

I thought a little more about this since it's spring break and I'm bored and I am going to just go up and talk to her again. I don't have anything to lose and summer is going to be here before you know it. Anybody have a suggestion for me? One of the things I could do is ask her to go to late night at the cafeteria and watch TV in the residence hall lounge or something. Is that a casual thing to ask? I'm tired of wasting time on girls that have no interest or spending weeks trying to talk to them long enough for them to tell me they have a boyfriend.

[corey1985]

I had a thought and I wanted some advice. What if I approached her table tomorrow at lunch or dinner and just chatted with all of the girls for a minute. She them I'm a nice guy I guess. I could ask them about their spring break since I told them to have a good one last Friday. Some people say I'm shallow because I am initially attracted to a girl sometimes based on her looks but it's more thasn that. This girl is super cute and she actually dresses nice too-she's not a person that goes around swearing and seems a little shy. Alot of the girls in college just through on sweatpants an that's it so I appreciate girls that look nice.

Anyhow is the question about me going up to their table and talking with them for a few minutes okay?