Confused on this one

[Chinchek]

Hey guys, i'd like to thank the admins for establishing such forum and the supporters within it.

First i will tell you about myself and the girl im interested in. And without drawing this out to long, im gonna try to be on the point. And in advance, my grammar is horrible, be patient with me please.... ( i mainly give out pointers.. rather then a constructive paragraph lol)

Myself: I am 23, handsome (some say very), built, but im kinda slow (in taking hints, jokes, etc.). I can be laid back and outgoing, goofy, fun, really good at sex, love to love, and really like giving girls (of interest) attention. Where i live is a small city, people here are judgmental and really afraid of what people think. I have an 'ok' confidence level and i am afraid of rejection. To be honest, the only great confidence i have is during sex. I dont get with girls very often, im more of a long term guy. that being said, i am very hesitant in what i do (please kick in confidence... :sad: ).

After the introduction phase is over, i have a hard time going from having fun to get my charm on... i gotta work on it.. ugh.

I use to cry a lot everytime something goes bad with a girl im into, but i got over that after a few years now. I still sob at times, but very short sessions.

The Girl: She is pretty, laid back, somewhat outgoing, independent (which i find very attractive), and a "bitch" in odd ways.

I liked this girl for about 1 year and i tried to hang out with her last summer, we only hung out a couple of times, but never alone. I did the bad thing, and asked her to hang out alone a bunch of times during the month, all i got was excuses.. so i clued in and moved on. Now this year we started talking again, hung out alone without worries, all was good. Making out is the farthest we got to, so something is there haha.

When i said she can be a bitch in odd ways (i apologize if some dont like that word), she does things that bother me, and she even admits that she can be a bitch at times but doesnt want me to hate her for that (its part of her personality). She also admitted that she is independent and doesnt want guys to be preoccupied with her. hmmm
We had a long talk about it but it didnt end up bad or anything. Now i started getting this damn vibe where i cant be myself. So now my hesitation kicks in and bam there goes my confidence. I am scared to ask

I want to be myself around her, i actually want to be myself around anyone, i hate it when i am not, it actually feels like im working to try not to be myself. I hate it!
I am into this girl, i dont know why now, but i am, maybe because i dont get them often i cant figure it out.

I Need Advice: What am i doing here? should i move on? Should i see where this goes? I like her and like i said, i dont have the best luck with women, even though i can attract them, i can never actually keep one interested in me... Bah im going all over the place with this.. ill end it here.

[rodgerjones2]

So you guys just made out and then smiled and moved on? Usually in a relationship you build momentum and keep going, but here it seems like you guys puttered out.

What happend after you guys made out, emotionally wise?

Have you asked how she feels about you or relationships in general? It sounds like shes a little afraid of commitment.
should i move on? Should i see where this goes?
Like I said, just talk to her about it. If she really has feelings for you then she'll be glad you did. Dont try to be anyone your not. If shes going to like you, then she take you as is.

[AustiN]

OKAY wait a minute............ she made out with you and that's all? Oh man you were tasted and decided against if thats all yall have ever done.

If a girl makes out with you and the next day isn't lighting up you're phone with texts like "so what are we" then she tried you out and for some reason you didn't make the cut.

Also if she is hitting you with that "wants to be independent" nonsense then that is female talk for "sorry pal get the damn message"


I have had girls really like me after making out. When they really like you they will make you their world, they will text you, they will call you to ask why you aren't texting them.

Every woman wants to find a guy who will devote himself to her completely, if she is saying she wants her independence then she is saying you're not the guy she is going to cuddle with at night and keep her warm and be her perfect guy she has dreamed about since age 6

[lissabeth]

Ok without knowing more about this girl it is definitely hard to say. Sometimes girls say they are independent because they just don't want a relationship or it could be part of some game I guess. A lot of girls don't want to seem too into a guy because whenever they act that way, the guy loses interest.

Girls know that guys play games. They wait three days to call, physical stuff just doesn't mean the same to them. I don't agree that the girl should be texting and calling the next day after making out. After all girls are told time and again to not do this and wait for the guy to see if he is interested. Love is all a huge stupid game, and unfortunately except for rare situations, unavoidable.

Talk to her. This is always always always the best advice. It is so much better to open up to someone and get rejected than to always have that "maybe" in your head. Be honest with her and if she can't do the same maybe you should look for someone that can do this for you. And there are girls that don't play hot and cold games. Don't sit around and wait for someone to change. Hope it helps!