i'm so confused... any advice?

[kelleric]

so i'm just gonna give out a general info about my general info about myself. i'm 21, female, and currently an university student taking psych and econ. i'm not the most out-going person but i tend to be more social when i have a buddy with me. most of the time i like hanging out with frds and do go to parties and etc.

i've been really confused lately about this guy. we met on halloween and we got along nicely. He ended up spending the night at my place and we hook up but not sex. We talked a lot and i was disappointed when he didn't ask for my phone number. Later i added him on facebook and he msged saying he tried looking me up but spelled my name wrong (my name is spelled weirdly) and we started talkin on facebook. He asked to hang out with me over the winter break but we couldn't find a time cuz we were both going home for xmas. so it wasn't til the very last day of the holiday that we got to see each other. he wanted to watch a movie but it was a bit late to go to the theatre so i suggested him to come over and watch at my place instead. we ended up cuddling while we were watching the movie and he ended up staying over til morning. And this time.. we did hook up "completely". In the morning he left.. and we hugged and kissed goodbye. He does this thing where he would kiss me like 4-5 times on the lips.. cuz i would laugh since i found it funny and cute. and right after he gave me my last kiss... he said "love you" in a quiet but blunt manner. i was too confused to say anything back but bye. i texted him later that night and got no reply. Later the next day he msged on facebook apologizing that he didn't reply cuz his phone died since he left his charger back home. i replied him the following day and i didn't get a reply until today (2 days later?)

i'm just confused to whether or not he's interested in anything more than just becoming frds with benefits. i would think if a guy is interested, he would reply in a much quicker manner and it wouldn't be on facebook. we did text each other after i left him my phone, and he would text me 2-3 msg when i don't reply him after awhile.

i do have a crush on him, but i don't want to wait for his reply anymore, especially if he's not interested in going further. he was a long term relationship for 2 years and had broke up in october.

can anyone give me some insight to whether or not i should keep waiting and hoping maybe he does actually have feelings for me?

[Deidre]

Okay, let's take a step back from the whole text messaging situation. Unless you're asking direct questions that definitely need an answer and he is ignoring them completely, there is little for you to make any judgements on there.

How about this: you call him up and have an actual talk to him, ear to ear. Does he pick up? Does he seem happy you called? Does he maintain conversation? If you agree that he should call you back in a certain time frame, does he? Does he still sound enthusiastic to do non-hook-up activities with you?

[kelleric]

i'm not so sure if it's appropriate to call him just cuz i don't want him to think i'm demanding anything from him just cuz we slept together. i guess i want him to make the first move just so i know he's interested and it's not cuz he felt bad. as for facebook, i'm not always asking him a question, he would reply even if i didn't ask him anything.

i guess for me, i tend to think if a guy is really interested in anything more, he would want to talk to me more on a regular basis and not wait so long til he replies.

[Deidre]

And what do you tend to think a girl would do if she is really interested in something more?

Pretend that she isn't and act like nothing until she gets tired of it, cuts contact and moves on? What does that communicate?