Dating Dilema

[aniamaria3]

This may seem like an obvious thing but hypotheticallly, if I was to be introduced to someone through an employer for instance and I ended up chatting with this man online for sometime to discover that there could be a connection there but he does some Nude Photography as he is a professional photographer. Mind you he is an amazing photographer-its not pornographic but artistic-though still as a woman I have a very hard time with the idea of a man photographing nude women. Then my question is should I even bother telling him how I feel about the idea and that if we were to ever meet (actually I am a Photographer myself) or taking the idea further, if we were to be in a relationship for instance? Should I be open and tell him early online or over the phone? Honestly, I don't think I could tell him to stop photographing what he does but I could tell him how I feel about it and why I feel that way? Do you think he would listen? Thank you in advance for your advice.

[Gezus]

You should definitely tell him if it's that important to you. As for his reaction, nobody can say, and nobody can predict either because nobody here knows him personally. I for one don't understand why you'd have a problem with him photographing nude women, regardless of whether it's for art or pornography, so I can't relate whatsoever and kind of find it ridiculous (just my opinion!).

Moved, by the way!

Edit: I forgot to mention that you shouldn't bring this up immediately. If you guys seem to hit it off and then a relationship starts to develop, then you should tell him, or if he asks about it or if you want to mention it casually because the conversation leads to it/can lead to it.

[aniamaria3]

Just to add: to me nude photography is simply not very family oriented and there are plenty of male photographers who do not do nude photography-it's a choice. He may be a great photographer and I do think he is but I do not agree with what he photographs-as a woman.

[Deidre]

You could tell him how you feel and why you feel that way, but why would you go down that road to start with?

You're not in a relationship with this man, and you don't appear to actually want to be in a relationship with someone who does nude photography. So, telling him about this would really serve no other purpose than try to hope he'd change what he does for a living for the possibility that the two of you might one day develop a deep and serious relationship. Would you take into consideration the thoughts and feelings of someone you weren't in a relationship with if they thought photography was, say, too frivolous/unstable a job and they really wanted to be with someone with a more serious/stable job? Of course not - or at least if you did, I'd be seriously concerned about your apparent lack of any independence.

If you want to pursue such a man, you suck it up. If you can't suck it up, you move on. It's very unfortunate that you're such a poor match despite your instant connection, but that's life.

[aniamaria3]

Have to agree with the second point. Thank you.

[aniamaria3]

This photographer and I still chat occasionally as I admire his talent and he has also expressed that he thinks I am talented as well and we can discuss this topic of the arts and such. The thing is that he has expressed interest in me and I although have not reciprocated that interest or flirtation, should I just tell him that I am not interested in him that way? He is my employer's brother and she introduced us but because he does nude photography, I just do not ever see us as a potential romantic couple. Since I have not been flirting with him, should I tell him that I am not interested? Also, I do not want to lead him on either, although I don't think that I have done that.

[hiddenlover]

If you do decide to date him you could maybe try telling him that while you do not like hime photographing naked women you understand that is part of his work and ask him not to bring that park of work with him when you are together such as on a date. Kind of like those strippers you see on Springer. They also say they are only a stripper while at work and leave that behind when they come home. Sounds kind of dumb lol but might help.

[vashti]

This is the brother of your boss?

I don't think you should criticize what he does for work. You should just tell him you don't want to date anyone so closely related to your boss, in case things go bad.