Tell me how stupid this is

[stasia]

My boyfriend is asking me to move with him to another state. I still have one more semester to go before I get my 2 year degree and I already have a part time job. I could try to enroll in a college where he wants to go but then I'll have to take out loans to pay for it plus balance out working to pay for the apartment AND school.

Someone please bash me for even considering it? Thanks in advance I really need to hear it.

[durr]

Well I suppose it may be kind of stupid if it would interfere with completing your degree and cause you to lose large amounts of money. Why not just wait a semester, finish school and then look for jobs where he moved to. It's only 4or 5 months. That is if you want to move to be with him.

[Madeleine]

Stasia, it's really stupid. Particularly for this guy. Don't do it!

Seriously. Even if you ignore my bias towards your boyfriend from reading your other posts, it is still not a good idea. It does not make financial sense. It doesn't make ANY sense. And with only one semester to go, if this guy is really worth it (which I will be completely honest, I don't think he is) he will still be around when you're done (but I feel pretty doubtful about that).

I think that if you do this, it will be a HUGE mistake.

I personally think you should use this time (him moving away without you) to take a break and decide if you really want to be with him.

[Deidre]

Why? So that you can ignore it and take one more step towards ruining your life? Beating a dead horse is such a waste of energy. Either you grow up or you don't. You have all that you need to act now. You're just choosing not to.

In case you forgot, here you go. More than enough:
http://www.relationship-forums.com/search.php?searchid=625069

[Carnation]

Stacia... That would be completely stupid. Why would you move to another state with a boy you already said you'd never see long term results with? You even started a thread about not wanting to move in with him.

Your education is so very important and it sounds like you have a good living and financial situation. Don't give it all up for a man you don't see a future with.

Try this: list out all the pros and cons of staying, and the pros and cons of moving with him.

[Kuky]

It's stupid. Not just regular "oh I left the house without putting on pants by accident" stupid, but I'm talking like, Sarah Palin stupid. It's the same kind of stupid as letting your kids play on the railroad tracks. It's so stupid I think I became stupider just thinking about it.

[kuju]

honestly, I haven't been following your story. Based on this one, single question... it's stupid. So I agree with everyone else, and I don't even KNOW how bad this guy is!

[stasia]

I'm going to make that list with the pros and cons. I have come up with something though: If I am pregnant then I think I'll go with him because my life may as well be over anyway. If I'm not, then I'll stay and start a new life without him.

It's not that I couldn't see myself with him in the long run it's that I need to see who he REALLY is first. Thanks for the advice you guys do you think this makes sense?

Honestly though, I don't think he'd be a reliable father. I know he'd love our kid, especially if it were a boy, but he would get frustrated and he's not grown up himself. I'd rathar a real man be a father to my kid even if he is an adoptive parent at least then he'll be ready for fatherhood, and the mother ready for motherhood (if I even am pregnant).

I can't even remember the last time I had my cycle. I know it couldn't have been less than a month ago but how long should I wait before taking a test? I don't know much about these things.

[Madeleine]

Stasia, you should read your last post and see how ridiculous it sounds. You're saying if you are pregnant, you would move in with him even though you, quote don't think he'd be a reliable father. THAT, is stupid. Stasia, if you end up being pregnant, that is NOT a good reason to move in with him. In fact, I think it is an excellent reason NOT to move in with him.

If I am pregnant then I think I'll go with him because my life may as well be over anyway.

Just because you're pregnant (which you still might not be, and I actually hope you aren't, purely because you clearly aren't mature enough to handle bringing up a child) does NOT mean that your "life is over". Yeah, maybe it's the result of a mistake you made, but this is a baby we're talking about. A real person. If you turn out to be pregnant, go and see your doctor or someone at Planned Parenthood to discuss your options. I really hate it when people say having a kid (by accident) is going to ruin their life. Yes, it will change your life dramatically, especially depending on what decisions you make, but it doesn't mean your life is over.

Seriously, there is absolutely NO good reason to move in with this guy whether you are pregnant or not. Stop being an idiot.

Usually you take pregnancy tests from the first day your period is due. If you're not sure when that is, then do one anyway. If it is negative, and you still think you might be pregnant, either see your doctor or if for some reason that is not an option, just wait another week (depending on how long ago you think you had unprotected sex) and do another pregnancy test.