Stuck in the friendzone? Is it possible to get out?

[Cerby]

I posted a couple of weeks ago about going out with a girl who seemed dis-interested, and it seemed to be going nowhere at all. Things have changed. . .

We now hang out several times a week, talk daily, drink, go to dinner, movies, etc. We spent probably 20 hours together last weekend. She almost always calls me, and is always the one who wants to hang out (not that I don't want to, I just find she calls more often than I do).

I've asked her out, and even talked about getting together with her, but she has said she just isn't looking right now after coming out of a rough relationship about a month ago. Even though I've made a couple of passes, she still continues to want to spend time with me.

I can't argue with the fact that I've made a potentially excellent friend, but its not what I really want.

Is it possible shes just getting over her last thing and I have a chance down the road? Or am I just on a path to heartbreak when she finds someone else a few months from now?

[BecKerr]

I think you need to just let it work its way out. If you are spending quality time with her, thats better and more than just being a friend. She obviously wants you around but she just isnt quite ready in her mind to be there.
Just relax, have fun with her and time will bring you together if its meant to be. Dont push it. You will regret that.

[automorphism]

You can either stop spending time with her, or spend so much time with her that she'll just be sick of you and you'll be pushed into the friend zone forever. I can't provide a reliable demonstration, but perhaps there's a point in between these two actions that will get you something more. I suggest you eventually plan for a kiss. Act as though you don't want anything serious. Put as few obligations on her as possible. Then attempt a kiss sometime later. Slowly add physicality.

It might not work but I think it's worth a try. I'd just lay low and make a move in a couple of months, seeing her now and again to keep her interested. Let her experience single life without any pressure. It's delicate but you might get her interested.

[Cerby]

Its tough to go either way, its always her that wants to see me, I rarely call or arrange anything. I've actually declined to see her a few times because I have my own things to do.

Laying low is tough when its always her contacting me :P Its like I'm being pursued, but when it comes to getting to the "relationship", it stalls out. But I'm patient, I left a relationship fairly recently and am in no rush to make this happen. But would still be ruined if it turns out I'm just there for her until she finds a better thing.

[Rammstein39]

You guys hang out everyday. You tried to suggest a relationship. She declined. Therefore, you are a friend. Keep hangin out with her but dont get your hopes up and keep your eyes open. She is prolly lookin for a male buddy to hang out with since she doesnt have a bf to fill that role. I think there is a slim chance she will come around so I say keep your options open and just relax and dont stress what she thinks of you. If it happens, then cool. If not then who cares?

I tried to tell my brother this since he lives this scenario with every girl he meets. He acts too much like a friend too long.When he does try, they arent intetrested and he keeps trying. Dont do that.

[Cerby]

I tried to tell my brother this since he lives this scenario with every girl he meets. He acts too much like a friend too long.When he does try, they arent intetrested and he keeps trying. Dont do that.

I guess, except that the first time we hung out I asked her out, and have tried once more as well. Its not that I'm trying to be her friend, its that its where she seems to have put me.

I can't figure out why she would want to hang out every day, call all the time, but have no interest in dating. Hell - I'm going to start getting sick of her before she does of me and I'm the one who wants to get in her pants.

[TheMinsterman]

I guess, except that the first time we hung out I asked her out, and have tried once more as well. Its not that I'm trying to be her friend, its that its where she seems to have put me.

I can't figure out why she would want to hang out every day, call all the time, but have no interest in dating. Hell - I'm going to start getting sick of her before she does of me and I'm the one who wants to get in her pants.

Maybe she wants to hang out and call you because she enjoys your company as a friend?

[Pailix]

I guess, except that the first time we hung out I asked her out, and have tried once more as well. Its not that I'm trying to be her friend, its that its where she seems to have put me.

I can't figure out why she would want to hang out every day, call all the time, but have no interest in dating. Hell - I'm going to start getting sick of her before she does of me and I'm the one who wants to get in her pants.

So just ask for friends with benefits..?

Also.... then give up on her.. you don't want to be her best buddy, you just want sex, so either ask FWB or find someone else..

[Mitchell's girl]

I think that with you spending all this time with her you do have a chance. but like she said she aint ready to get into another relationship at the moment but i bet when she is ready you will be the first one she goes to.by spending all this time with her you two are both gonna end up having feelings for each other and if not then it wasnt meant to be anyway.

[Cassandra]

I think that with you spending all this time with her you do have a chance. but like she said she aint ready to get into another relationship at the moment but i bet when she is ready you will be the first one she goes to.by spending all this time with her you two are both gonna end up having feelings for each other and if not then it wasnt meant to be anyway.

This is right but if you have a much deeper feeling it is necessary that you should come out from the friendzone, it is necessary, sometimes friendship kills a chance of deeper relationship.

[Aeoz]

From what I see, this girl sees you as a good and platonic friend. Nothing more. The thing is you're not the boyfriend material for him. She might not see the figure of a boyfriend that will protect her and comfort her in you.

If you really want to bring this relationship to the next level, then I would suggest you to lessen your time spending with her as a friend and please don't try too hard.
Start to introspect yourself on what you should do to actually be a boy-friend figure for her. I can't really give advice on what you should change or preserve since I don't personally know you, but just don't push yourself too hard, be honest and direct on the fact that you want to be with her but at the same time, you're not needy that you can't live without her, this is a turn-off if she doesn't have feelings or comfortable with you yet.

Hope it helps, good luck.