What do you do when...

[Lady Dragoness]

You fall for a guy you've talked to 4 times and goes to a different school? (and one of those was on ICQ!)

Gah.
How the fuck did I wind up doing this?
I'm pathetic.

I met Jeff at 4H camp, and we danced once, ate together once, and talked on a hike... sort of.

He's the finest thing I've ever seen, and is so sweet.
(Just because I've talken to him 3 times doesn't mean I haven't watched him carefully...)

He goes to a different school, and now that summer's over, there's absolutley no chance that I'll be able to "accidentally" run into him. Gah. It seems so hopeless, but I don't wanna give up on this one. I really want to try.

The problem is, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

As you all know, I'm never ever in here. It's been AGES since I've ever seriously liked someone.

It sounds so dumb to fall for someone you barely know, but I did! Hell, I don't even know if he knows who I am.

How, now, do I go about seducing him?

[dek]

Lets see..... Conversations are always good, so talk to him more often. Find out more about him and see if you like who he is on the inside (never judge a book by its cover as they say)


Try to look for hints and maybe meet him more in person (like going out for a coffee or something)

[CletusDelroy]

Do you have his number? If so, call him and tell you want to hang out. If you can't do that, then use ICQ and set something up. Either way, in answer to your question "what do you do..." my answer is, you go after him.

Wait, you asked how to "seduce" a guy... Isn't that a skill chicks are born with? Oh, and it isn't that hard to do anyway... :P

[Lady Dragoness]

I've only spoken to him on icq once, (me to him). He never said anything to me on there again, and me, not wanting to look pathetic, didn't talk to him again.

(isn't it funny how girls over analyze EVERYTHING? damn my mom. she's the one that instilled all this "don't chase boys" shit in my head. now I worry about any contact at all.)

I just don't want to be annoying, or seem like I'm "chasing" him.

hahaha.

So, uh, IMing him wouldn't be too strange (considering I don't know if he even knows who I am)?

And if so, what do I talk about?

*feels like a doofus*
:P

[goofball]

well, what are your methods for contacting him?

believe it or not, sicne you mentioned icq, a lot of 'seducing' can actually be done over that and can be done well even by someone who normally lacks skill. the reason is that you have more time to think up your responses obviously. Anyway, beyond that, usually if you're available and receptive, a guy will pursue you if he likes you in that manner

[Lady Dragoness]

icq's about it, as for now, i guess.
i just don't really know what to say.
it was almost a month ago that i talked to him on there, and nothing's been said since.

i saw him at the fair several times, made eye contact several times, smiled, dumb stuff like that. but i don't know if he even associates my face with me on icq.

so i should just go ahead and talk to him, huh?
but what, exactly, do i say? (at least to get things started off)

[CletusDelroy]

Um, how about "hey, what's up, this is [insert your name here] ?..." and take it from there. Usually, things will come up and get discussed. If you notice the awkward silence creeping in, just give him your number and tell him to call you instead. Then ask him if wants to hang out. This isn't a direct "god I want you so bad, lets start dating" but just a simple "wanna hang out?". I doubt he won't reciprocate. Trust me, when a guy can see that you like him, it won't be hard at all to snag him.

lol, funny how girls get this way with guys too. When you think about it, the sexes are a lot alike.

[goofball]

just normal stuff, ask him what he's up to, what he 'does' school or whatever, just normal stuff. if the conversatoin flows...

i mean, as they say in american pie: "just ask 'em questions and listen to what they have to say and shit"

[wowzers]

right just message him on icq sometime and make some casual conversation so that you can get to know him better and vice versa... when you become better friends in that manner, it would make more sense to arrange some sort of meeting... so you dont have to try to accidentally bump into him somewhere

and i dont think youll seem very pathetic at all. i hardly ever message anybody, but i feel really appreciative when one of my friends messages me :)

[LuvULovinMe]

I've only spoken to him on icq once, (me to him). He never said anything to me on there again, and me, not wanting to look pathetic, didn't talk to him again.

I'm the EXACT same way... girls do over analize everything. I think that in this situation.. you just gotta msg him tho cuz you have NOTHING to lose. Any convo with this guy is a good convo so just go for it!

Just think of random things to ask him... for example, I was tlaking to this guy on MSN one day and the convo was dying so I asked him if he knows when the molson indy was. That started like an hour long conversation about how I'm the only girl that hes met that has showed interest in that stuff. So just find ANYTHING to ask him. Be like "hey, I saw you at the fair and I was thinking how funny it is that you probly dont even put my face and my name together" or something stupid like that.

[Lady Dragoness]

I'm gonna talk to him tonight.
I'll tell y'all what happens, and you can guide me from there.
*dorky grin*
:mrgreen:
hehehe...

[Coyote Loco]

<span style='color:darkblue'>Good luck Lauren! Keep us posted! Yeah, there really isn't anything suspicious with IMing him (or ICQing)... just say soemthing along the lines of "Hey, it's Lauren, from 4H camp, remember?" and then just start asking typical questions like "What's up?" "How have you been?" "Have you gotten your schedule for next year yet?" "*insert something 4H releated here that I know nothing about*"...

I'd say for now just try to get into the habit of talking to him on ICQ for a couple weeks... then when you think that you've been talking to him enough (and are comfortable talking to him)... wait until you are in the middle of a good conversation then say something like "Shit, my *insert family member here* needs the computer... hey, my phone number is ___-____... why don't you give me a call so we can finish this convo?"

I have a friend who started dating a guy simply because she talked to him so frequently on line... they talked for like 2 or 3 weeks and clicked then started calling each other and, viola, he asked her out...

:mrgreen:

*roots for Lauren*</span>

[Lady Dragoness]

Dammit! He STILL hasn't been online...
grrrrr.

I was so pumped up yesterday, too.

[CletusDelroy]

Ahh, to bask in the joy of anticipation...

Keep the updates coming, I actually want to know how this one turns out.

[Lady Dragoness]

Okay, I've been thinking about what to say... and...
when we were at camp, we talked about ohio state... he wants to go there, and his family has season tickets to the football games and stuff, so i thought maybe i'd say something about remembering that, and send him the link to this...
http://michigansucks.homestead.com/files/images/priceless.jpg
after that, though, I'm still unsure of what to say.
:P

what d'ya think of that as an opener, though?
lol

[CletusDelroy]

Not bad, but here's my advice...

Don't plan this out too much. No plan ever survives first contact, so to speak. If you put too much thought into this, you're bound to do or say something you don't want to. Remember, you've got nothing to lose here (except maybe your pride, dignity, confidence... :evil2:) so stop worrying and just do it. Hell, if you really start to get all shy and stutter and all, I'm sure he'll catch on to what's happening and be flattered and think it's cute. Just go with the flow (sorry, that was cliche) and see how it develops.

Oh, and yes, the losing your pride, dignity, confidence part was just a joke. :wink:

[Lady Dragoness]

gah!
he's online...
but he's "away".

what to do, what to do...
*taps fingers anxiously*

[CletusDelroy]

LOL, you can't ever seem to win. I'm sorry. :P

Good luck. :mrgreen:

[Lady Dragoness]

I did it!!!!!
I talked to him!
woooooo hooooooo!!!!!


the cowboy in me(22:42 PM) :
hey, I remembered we'd talked about Ohio State at 4H camp. hehe, I thought you might like this... http://michigansucks.homestead.com/files/i...s/priceless.jpg (http://michigansucks.homestead.com/files/images/priceless.jpg)
Jeff(22:43 PM) :
thanks!
the cowboy in me(22:47 PM) :
haha, i just thought that was hilarious. i sent it to everyone i knew who liked OSU, and then i remember talking to you about them at camp.:-P

i saw you at the fair, but i wasn't sure if you remembered me, so i didn't say anything- haha.
Jeff(22:50 PM) :
well i appriciate it i love it
well u should have stopped and talked to me
Jeff(22:51 PM) :
thats f'n funny
where did u find that at?
the cowboy in me(22:53 PM) :
haha, i know. :P
i wound up only being out there monday tuesday and wednesday, though... we went to myrtle beach thursday.
i missed blake shelton... grrrr.
http://michigansucks.homestead.com/files/jokes.html there's the site... you can get to the rest of the links from that page. they're homepage is gone for some reason, though.
the cowboy in me(22:55 PM) :
do you ever go up to the meigs fair?
Jeff(22:55 PM) :
ok thank u very much
well i gotta go my bro nedds the phone
ttyl
the cowboy in me(22:55 PM) :
alright. talk to you later. :-P
Jeff(22:57 PM) :
yeah im goin up there to see trcik pony
byby
the cowboy in me(22:57 PM) :
maybe i'll see you there.
later.


not the most romantic thing in the world, but what the hell... i actually had a conversation with him!

shit, i might have even proved i'm kind of cool to talk to!
*dances*
:mrgreen:

[starwiz]

not the most romantic thing in the world, but what the hell... i actually had a conversation with him!

shit, i might have even proved i'm kind of cool to talk to!
*dances*
:mrgreen:
:lol:
And by the fact that he said you should have stopped him, you know he likes talking to you...congrats.

[Coyote Loco]

*high fives Lauren*

Awesome!!! Now just keep on IMing him... and as starwiz said, the fact that he should you should have stopped him says something... you did awesome Lauren...

:mrgreen:

[Birdee]

Wow! Glad this one had a Happy ending. Trick Pony......So maybe he's into country music..... :) That's a convo right there!
G' Luck....and ask how old his Brother is....... :wink:

[Intrigue1201]

yay!

[Lady Dragoness]

So should I keep IMing him... or should I let him talk to me first now?

[starwiz]

Why would you want to force him talk to you first? You initiated, keep it up. He'll eventually get the hint, but for now, I don't think he'll IM you as much as you'd like. I see no risk in IMing him, but I do see a risk in not iming him (that he won't IM you). There's nothing wrong with a girl taking the lead :D

[Coyote Loco]

Yeah exactly... until you two have been talking for a bit more defenitely IM him... maybe wait until he's been online like 5 or 10 minutes first but keep IMing him...

Hehe, he's a guy, Lauren, then tend to be a bit dense (no offense boys :wink: )... he'll probably just think that you really did just think of him when you saw that pic which was why you IMed him... if you keep IMing him slowly he'll realize you are interested and if it all works out like it's suppose to he'll start getting interested in you...

:mrgreen:

The day he IMs you first is the day you know that you've peaked his interest...

[starwiz]

The day he IMs you first is the day you know that you've peaked his interest...
This is true, but not entirely true. You certainly have peaked his interest if he IMs you first, but you have not nessicarily peaked his romantic interest. It is entirely possible that you have simiply restarted your friendship, and his interest in that has been peaked.
So it's certainly a good sign if he IMs you first, but don't overdo it. The only real "good sign" is when he asks you out :cool3:
Good luck!

[Coyote Loco]

Yeah, I just meant it's a good sign and she should keep up the good work...

:P

[starwiz]

Okay then; we seem to be in concensus. :)