getting rid of him

[Taia]

How do you get rid of somebody? I mean, someone who's sweet and nice, so you don't wanna hurt their feelings (and mebbe you already tried that and it didn't work), but you need to be stern enough so that they get the message... Do you use brute force? Honesty? Plain out LIE?

[CletusDelroy]

Speaking from a negative experience myself...

Don't beat around the bush or mince words. Don't give him the silent treatment and act like a six year old little kid. Don't be a pure bitch.

What you can do is just tell him straight up that you don't want to have anything to do with him. If you don't have any hard feelings toward him, you can throw that in there as well, just to "ease" it for him so to speak (though it's unlikely he'll believe you anyway). Being direct and acting like an adult is your best bet, don't do what stupid little fucking kids do.

[goofball]

be open and direct

[Trixy5234]

Good Luck Taia...I've tried to get rid of annoying poeple before. No matter how much I avoid them and no matter how much I tell them to leave me alone. They stick around. They they can't get the fucking hint or something. The worst part is when they try and be friends with people you know and then they never leave you alone...theyre always there. Sorry....bringing back bad memmories...but yea good luck. :roll:

[Danae]

Honesty. Just tell them. It saves both of you the bull shit.



Having said that...I need to follow my own advice. :lol: There was this guy who liked me ever since I was a freshman and he was a senior. I think he's finally gotten the idea I'm not interested. I should have told him up front but I didnt. I'm human. Meh.

[fedzMONKEY]

There are two girls that I know that have given me a complete silent treatment. Try that one.

[Trixy5234]

There are two girls that I know that have given me a complete silent treatment. Try that one.
yea i always do that and it works. but some times you get complete dumbasses who dont get the fucking hint...and spend every waking monent bugging the shit out of you.

[CletusDelroy]

There are two girls that I know that have given me a complete silent treatment. Try that one.

There are two sides to this approach.

If this guy was someone who you barely knew, and had only talked to once or twice, it would be alright to just ignore him and see if he would get the point.

However, if this is someone who you've known for even a little while, and have not given the impression that there's anything really wrong well then just cutting ties cold turkey is problematic. While it may work with some people, most will want SOME kind of closure. Some kind of an explanation or reason because, after all, if things seemed fine before and all of a sudden don't, well he's only human and he will wonder. If you want to have NOTHING to do with him, just tell him straight up, to his face. If you can't do that, then you're a coward and you certainly can't say anything bad about him because you're be no better. You've gotten some decent advice, pick the approach that you think is most appropriate and will work best.

[Wrightman84]

There are two girls that I know that have given me a complete silent treatment. Try that one.
speaking from exp. it works
uhh but i suggest that you just tell him/her the truth and don't bs...
it better that way

[Adonis]

How do you get rid of somebody? I mean, someone who's sweet and nice, so you don't wanna hurt their feelings (and mebbe you already tried that and it didn't work), but you need to be stern enough so that they get the message... Do you use brute force? Honesty? Plain out LIE?

Don't talk about Truth like that!! That's mean!

hehehee... what do you mean of get "rid of somebody"... do you just not want them in your life anymore? or is it.."LJBF" mentality??

[wowzers]

well i was a complete bitch to this girl that was stalking me (whom i had only talked to for 5 minutes at the juggling convention last summer)... so at this convention, she came up to me asked me like, "hey remember the gum?" and i had no clue what she was talking about, unless that was what our 5min conversation had been about. i said "no," without looking at her face for more that a split second and briskly walked away.

ahh but it worked! she didnt talk to me for the rest of the festival even tho she saw me sitting alone at times and everything and she hasnt IMed me... or maybe i blocked her a while ago, i dunno.

[Nikster]

Normally, I just won't answer their calls and don't seem too enthused to talk to them. Ignoring them has always worked for me although in the end I feel like a complete bitch...I have a problem with confrontation though.

[SteveG]

The Truth (not carlo) is always the best thing to do erhm... say, yeah, that's it.... in such situations.

[dek]

I've found that ignoring them is the best treatment. They get the hints eventually.

[obsidian]

Hmm, just tell them outright, atleast they'll know were they stand with you. I've been on the recieving end of "the silent treatment" too many times, it's confusing and it sucks. I'd much rather have someone tell me outright instead of thinking about what it is I have done wrong.

As for not hurting their feelings, that's gonna happen anyway. No one likes to be told that you don't want to be around them, but they'll get over it.

[hunny]

I'm not sure from your q whether this is a guy who seems to like you and wants to date you, or if its just some annoying person you want to totally avoid.
If its a guy you're not interested in dating, you have to just TELL them that. It usually works. Not always though.
If it's someone you aren't interested in even talking to, just try to avoid them as much as possible. Tell them you're busy whenever they call and don't spend any time hanging out with them.They should get the message sooner or later.
You don't have to be outright mean about it but you can't be confusing them with mixed signals either.

[twinkling_eyes]

i have only had to do this a couple of times and i was lucky cuz they were older guys like 19 and 20 (im 17) and i told them that i couldnt be around them cuz my parentstold me that if i was caught me with them i'd lose my car and my phone...even though they didnt saythat... needless to say they're outa my life now

[Taia]

Well, thanks everybody.. here's a lil update: he's still bugging me. Hunny, this guy is someone who i'm pretty sure wants to date me (and he's pretty sure too) and it gets as annoying as hell sometimes! >.<

he's sent me a couple things, and he emailed me this song from usher, "if i want to", and if you've heard the lyrics afore, you'll know why i'm annoyed with him... and he's a nice guy and all, just i'm not really interested in men that way at the moment... i'm living it up pretty okay without guys messing with my mind right now ^.^ i'm good with having just friends... besides, this guy isn't really my "type"

i tried the silent treatment, but he didn't let up. i cussed him out (:oops: not like me, i know, but i was desperate, heh...) but he still didn't care. so yes, he knows the truth cuz i've told it to him over and over, but he doesn't get it! wot's with this guy?!?!

[mistyc]

and he's a nice guy and all, just i'm not really interested in men that way at the moment... i'm living it up pretty okay without guys messing with my mind right now ^.^ i'm good with having just friends... besides, this guy isn't really my "type"

In other words, he's not pushing your attraction buttons, cause if he were, you wouldn't be saying that ;). Quite that simple. And his CHUMP infatuated unrequited love behaviour just turns you off more and more every day.

Guys, read this carefully. It will save you :)

--------

Taia, this guy is obsessed. Infatuated. He thinks he's in love and you just need to see what a great guy he is and you'll fall in love with him too. That's "wot's with this guy". He needs a huge slap in the face. Or silent treatment (oh you already tried that one). He needs to get a clue.

Block his email address, instant messenger thingies, phone number. Cut contact totally. Don't even tell him "let's just be friends". And if that still doesn't work, well you'll need help. Restraining order? (maybe a little too harsh, but if it does turn stalkerish.... hopefully it won't come to that) Talk with your parents, have them talk with his parents? Stuff like that.

[player]

Kick him in the nuts, so that you have his full attention.

Then just be honest. "Your a nice guy and all, but not my type. Sorry."

[goofball]

open and direct.

good plan

[mistyc]

bah don't even tell him he's a nice guy. He could take this the wrong way and think he has a chance.

But do kick him in the balls if you need. Then tell him you're not interested and stop bugging him. Don't sugar-coat your words.

[Taia]

ha... misty, i've actually DONE all that... i've gone so far as getting different screen names and changing email addies and not picking up my cell or house phone whenever his name comes up on CID... open and direct, man, i think i BEEN that already!!!

i been completely ignoring him for a while, but he always seems to know where i'm at anyway. and plus i can't exactly change my addy or anything, so he could always drop by for a visit (he actually helped me move here). >.< meh... kick in the nuts doesn't sound too bad right now. but imma see how this ignoring thing goes for a LIL more...

[CletusDelroy]

This sounds more than a simple crush who's just infatuated with you or someone who wants closure or whatever.

I would start to worry if I were you, and really be brutally honest with him and tell him to leave you the hell alone. If that doesn't work, I would seriously consider getting a restraining order against him if he continues to find your other screen names, email addresses, numbers, keeps coming over (this is the worst, obviously) - what have you.

Don't tell him he's a nice guy but just not your type. Don't assault him or do anything that can be used against you. Don't give him any chance to talk when you tell him off, and don't think he will just go away via the silent treatment.

You should have told him from the beginning that you didn't want anything to do with him, and why. Having given him the silent treatment only made things get bigger and keep going.

[mistyc]

This sounds more and more stalkerish, Taia. Do your parents know about him? They surely can help you too.

[Taia]

Hmm... mebbe i'm making it sound bigger'n it is, or mebbe i'm juss stupid... but i do not wanna do anything drastic like a restraining order! and my parents. hah. i laugh cuz they know nothing about me, living 30 min away from me. but it's cool... i don't want them getting into it, imagine my mother dear screaming through the phone to come home darling you'll be safe here... >.<

i don't want him to bug me so much. i mean, he's bugging me, yes, but i don't want him to make me do something to change my lifestyle juss cuz of him. i'm a stubborn ass like that at times :D i'm sure this ignoring thing will get to him and through his thick skull sooner or later. it's just pissing the hell outta me that he won't get away.

[mistyc]

Well. Lots of pains happen because people didn't want to do anyting drastic too soon, and just wait it out. It's your life however...

EDIT:

Although I think I would wait a little too ;) lol. But not too much. I think it's already very serious.. I mean, he always knows where you're at, sends you stuff, etc. Continue the silent treatment. But if it doesn't work quickly... You will need to take action.

[CletusDelroy]

Well. Lots of pains happen because people didn't want to do anyting drastic too soon, and just wait it out. It's your life however...

Good point.

This guy is bound to get more aggressive and thus, more desperate and dangerous. Its up to you of course, not my call.

Good luck.

[Truth]

If you like.. I can drive down there and You can point out where he lives to me and I could beat him up for you... :mrgreen: