I need to vent.

[thesdhuck83]

Okay...

I am a nice guy. A wonderful awesome guy, I havent had many relationships. But lately, I have been having a problem. For the past year, I seem to attract and be attracted to younger girls. I am not talking creepy pedophile--stuff-- I am talking 17-18 year old girls. The problem with that being is that I am 25 years old. I feel ashamed that I feel like this, but I cant hardly feel the way I feel.

These "spats" havent gone anywhere--because I havent let them. I am an adult, and know rationally--that I must draw the line, and it's not acceptable to take a girl out with one that is in high school. Especially since I have been out, for nearly 6 years.

But, that all changed since I met this one girl. I know her from some activities we do together, and we have connected extremely well. I know for a fact that she likes me, and although I have fought it-- I like her. There is nothing I can do about it, and I know it frustrates her--because she knows I like her--and I feel like I am dangling a carrot out there for her. I just dont want to break the poor girl's heart, when she knows we cant be together--right now, or even in the soon imediate future. We talk all the time, we connect strongly, and we are becoming really, really good friends.

When she gets older-- I feel like something could be possible. But, I have been thinking--how long can I wait? Is she worth the wait? Will she wait for a big goob like me?

I cant talk to her about it, because I am afraid it will be misconstrewed and I will get in trouble with her parents or with other people. I dont want to stop talking to her, because I love talking to her! But, I know that if it continues growing--we both could be in a world of hurt.

Anyway-- I know I am going to have to do something about it...I just dont want to. I am a believer that love has no age--and it's not uncommon for people to have an age gap--and I dont think 7 years is that bad. My grandparents are that far apart in age--and I know of my friend that is 22 years younger than her husband!!!! Now that's kind of extreme--but, I think as she becomes an adult...I think something really can happen.

I just have to cool it down...and not stir things up before it's time.

Its one of the hardest lessons I have ever had to learn.

[rodgerjones2]

Your be alright. My sister is 21 and just got out of a year relationship with a 31 year old. She loved him just like a 30 year old would have. Yeah he had 10 years on her but it didnt effect there relationship at all. So for me age isnt a big deal but your story is diffrent.

Is it normal first of all? Yes, and thats why I think your be fine, you seem to show good self disipline which is important. It seems you found a female which I can asume is 18 from your data given. If you really cant wait for her to grow up then you have no choice, I dont see much wrong with slowly starting to date. The best time to meet the parents ect is when she is 19 while your still 25 if thats possible. The lower the gap the less the pain.

Also if your still worried about the parents, it helps if you will wait till the female has a good emotional attacement to you because her parents wont understand automaticly the situation unless there age gapped as well. That way she can semi put up for herself when your not there.

Or eventually im sure your find someone around your age that may look younger, generally women with freckles on the face will pull this off. Good luck

[Wildcat]

If she's under 18 years old, there's the statutory laws and she's completely off limits right now. But if she's 18 or older, why should it matter? My parents are 10 years apart. My mother was 19 when she met my dad. They've had a happy marriage for nearly 25 years now. People in our society make such a big deal about age gaps, when it's really not that bad.

[Learned One]

Well, here's my advice, you need to stop hanging out with younger girls. As far as I know, 17 is still technically (and more importantly, legally) in the creepy pedophile range. If they're under 18 you need to just let it go.

Now, assuming they are over 18, then I generally agree that age shouldn't matter. However, that said, I do think that developmentally, there is a significant difference in an 18 year old and a mid-20 year old. People change and develop so much throughout that period in their life that any age gap is dramatically magnified.

I'm not saying that people can't meet each other at that age, find true love and live happily ever after. I know that happens, I've seen it. But, I do believe that is the exception, not the rule.

I understand that you may be physically attracted to younger girls, that is completely normal. But I think once you the relationship got to a deeper level, you would in most instances find difficulties. Then again, if all you're looking for is fun, light relationships, then maybe you'll be fine (although it kind of feels to me like you would be preying on the younger more naive girls).

Bottom line, I say hang out with girls your own age. I think you'll find they are every bit as interesting and exciting as you believe the younger girls are. Best of luck.

[Kuky]

The statutory laws are all that matter here, IMO. If a 25 year old wants to be with an 18 year old, then my question to all the naysayers is: "Says who???"

Don't do this to yourself. There is no reason what so ever why you shouldn't be perfectly fine with an 18 year old. Now, if she's 17, and the laws are in the way, your options are: Move on, wait it out, or be with her but not sexually, until she is old enough (I think the laws are only for sex, but IANAL).

[thesdhuck83]

Learned One,

I do not hang out with 17 year old girls. Let's clear that up...

I do hang out with girls my own age, and have several friends that are my own age. Those are the people that I hang out with all the time. I dont appriciate you assuming that I am some predator. Because I know that it's not right for a grown man to hang out with a younger girl. Nor have I ever done that!!!! I think, hey-- what would her parents think. And immediately, I know that a father would not appriciate it.

In my state, its not against the statutory laws for a 17 year old to date someone older. However, it's against my own personal virtue and code--to do that.

I got it under control.... It's all up to fate.

[denied]

If she is 18 and u feel comfortable enough, go for it.

i know generally speaking u can judge people by their age, but there are exceptions. im only 19 but i know im plenty capable of a good long relationship with anyone older than me. I also know i have read threads of some amazingly sad 30+ year olds being so immature, inconsiderate, etc.