I kissed my guy friend.... [Archive] - The Relationship Forums

hunnybunz

July 7th, 2002, 01:52 PM

Ok, well the other night me and my close guy friend hooked up. But this wasnt just a small hook up, it was for like a half hour or so, so you might call it a makeout session. Anyway, after the few days of awkwardness we had (we hang out in a group almost every night) I finally talked to him. He's like a big brother type to me. He immediately apologized for not talking to me those few days and said he felt awkward about it. Then he went on to say that what happened was pretty random, but I'm not so sure. He then went on to say that he thinks were pretty good friends and doesnt wanna mess things up, to which I agreed to. So wouldnt that in theory mean that he was implying contemplating being more than friends? We had been flirting all night and then we "mysteriously" wound up in a place very suitable for making out. I'm pretty sure he liked it, and I liked it too. Neither of us are the type of people to randomly hook up with people. Anyone wanna take a crack at this?

chiukit

July 7th, 2002, 05:59 PM

mostly likely, something's there. but neither of you would want to admit it to the other without any proof that the other feels the same way. i'd say that he feels the same way about you that you do him (assuming that you like him). and so im thinking that... hey if you want something to happen (again)... just kiss him again. heehee. but. hey. thats just what i would do. took a few days for him to figure out that you guys wanna be just friends? if thats the case, then im thinkin that within those days, the thought of you and him together must have came up in his mind SO MANY TIMES. and considering that neither of you would just kiss anybody for any apparent reason, would it not be within logic and reason to say that there IS something there?

zoe

July 7th, 2002, 08:44 PM

No one makes a better boyfriend than someone that you already trust and love as a friend.

Sydney123456

July 7th, 2002, 10:08 PM

Ok- during this talking, your questions weren't cleared up?? Why didn't you ask these questions when you were talking?

No one can clear up your confusion better than he can, because it's HIM.

wowzers

July 8th, 2002, 02:36 AM

yah i think you should talk to him again and tell him wat you think about things instead of just listening to what he thinks

eatshit

July 9th, 2002, 03:45 PM

No one makes a better boyfriend than someone that you already trust and love as a friend.
That is so true!! :wink:

Anyway, yes, that sortof happened to me... i thought i'd crossed the line a bit and i wanted to at least give it a shot before i lost the oppurtunity to go out with my friend, because i knew that he really liked me, but i wasn't sure that i liked him. So anyway, try talking to him about it? There's obviously some sexual tension there ;)

Forgotten_Innocnece

July 13th, 2002, 12:21 AM

yeah... i would say talk about it as soon as possible if you have any feelings at all for this guy... i was sorta in the same situation at a point and time, but nither me, or my best guy friend spoke uo about how we felt at the time.. and we both moved on to diffrent people, only to later tell each other how we felt when it was to late and he was in a commited relationship... so dont end up like me and him did......

hunnybunz

July 16th, 2002, 02:41 AM

Ok...last night it happened again, two weeks after it happened the first time. For it to happen again, I guess it wasnt so random huh? Afterwards we talked about it this time, and he acknowledged that there is something between us. How far that realization will take us is unknown. He basically said that our situation sucks; we obviously like each other but we're friends...what to do....

super_chevy2000

July 16th, 2002, 11:55 AM

It sounds to me like there are more feelings there than just for friendship but I would talk to him about it because if the 2 of you don't get this out in the open it could cause problems later in your friendship.

kerrielouise

July 16th, 2002, 07:41 PM

if there is something between you, and you both know it, why dont you just act on it?
me and my bf have been mates since he moved here about 3yrs ago, and after a year of all that 'sexual tension' crap we finally decided to do something about it 3 weeks ago and i'm so happy we did :D
kerrie
--x--

BabyBlue

July 16th, 2002, 09:19 PM

My best friend is my boyfriend. In the beginning I didn't to ruin our friendship so I shyed away from anything more (I was stuck in this mindset that "every couple breaks up" ->bad bad bad thinking!!) It became clear that I had feelings for him that I couldn't hide. I am so glad that I took the chance to allow our friendship to develop into a romance. We've been strong since Dec 2000 and every day I am so grateful I followed my heart.

Perhaps your hearts are telling you two something?

Nikster

July 16th, 2002, 10:40 PM

TALK TO HIM!

I was in the same situation and if only I had talked to him instead of just letting things happen, I would have saved myself the hurt. Tell him to be upfront with you because you deserve it. Too many times people are scared of the ruining the relationship factor, but I say go for it. If you both care about each other, there's no reason to keep it a secret any longer and perhaps that's what the kiss(es) were about.

hunnybunz

July 18th, 2002, 01:15 PM

Ok, I talked to him about everything. He basically just layed out our options for me: either we keep hooking up or we go back to being just friends again. Any input?

BabyBlue

July 18th, 2002, 03:16 PM

I know you're looking for opinions here but this decision can only be made by you and him. Talk again and determine together whether you want your friendship to progress into a relationship or if remaining friends is the best option. It is possible that some friendships are damaged due this progression but in my personal opinion, if you two are truly best friends, things will work out just fine either way.

"Well, it seems to me that the best relationships--the ones that last--are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is...suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with."

This is what happened with my best friend and me. As soon as I realized this I remembered, "The only regrets in life are the chances you didn't take" so I went for it and its been bliss ever since. :mrgreen:

Best Wishes

Roguish Grin

July 19th, 2002, 05:29 AM

This is what happened with my best friend and me. As soon as I realized this I remembered, "The only regrets in life are the chances you didn't take" so I went for it and its been bliss ever since. :mrgreen:

Yeah, exact same thing happened wif Jennie and me....We were talking online, and I said "Creo que me estoy enamorando de ti.", or, as translated into english, "I think I am falling in love with you." It was sorta my way of admitting it without comin out and saying it (I know, realll brave...) Well anyway, long story short, we talked for a few hours, and decided that we didn't wanna pursue anything b/c we didn't wanna lose eachother to a fight/break-up...

That mentality lasted about two days, with all of our friends on both sides saying that nothing comes w/o a risk, so we went for it, and have been dating for two and a half months, and nothing could be better...

I think that you jus need to set down and think it thru wif your guy friend, and whatever you decide will be the right choice for you two.

Best of luck!

hunnybunz

July 24th, 2002, 04:00 AM

Update: All of this happened tonight, I could not wait to get home and post it cause I cannot even comprehend what has happened. It just so happens that he and I were left alone again, and of course we hooked up again, but things got way out of hand....We only hooked up, but he tried to do more things like go up my shirt and unbutton my pants but I wouldnt allow it. This confuses me greatly. I'm beginning to think that he was just using me for ass, bc guys when you like a girl would you dare cross the line like that even if the pleasure is aimed at her? But then again previous incidents imply that he does like me.... AHH IM SO CONFUSED!!!

Roguish Grin

July 24th, 2002, 05:15 AM

:o :o Umm......I dunno what to tell you. Cause some guys think that stuff like that is just a normal reaction if you like a girl, whereas other guys (like me) wouldn't dare do something like that wif out the girl's concent......sorry this doesn't help much, maybe other ppl can be more insightful....I would advise above all else talking wif him and trying to figure out what he wants from you...

1Diamond Tiara

July 26th, 2002, 10:42 PM

sounds fishy to me. if he doesn't want to go out with u and view u as long term potential then maybe he could just view u as a "no strings attached" type girl. He may have interpreted the random kisses in that way.

BabyBlue

July 30th, 2002, 01:05 AM

There is that possibility he was just using you. It is frustrating and heart breaking because sometimes you just can't read guys or if you talk with them, they lie. :roll: Anywho - what he tried with you is completely disrespectful towards you (he did not ask you how comfortable you were, what your feelings were, etc.) and the friendship between you two. If you choose, talk with him and let him know where you stand.

*Hugs*

CletusDelroy

July 30th, 2002, 05:22 PM

The relationship (I mean the friendship one) has already been compromised.

Either throw yourself at him (like he is at you) and become a couple, or just end everything right now. Don't send him mixed signals.

Things won't be going back to the way they were, especially not after the multiple incidents. There will always be an awkwardness and tension between you two if you try to be friends again, hence it won't work for long, if at all. It's really down to being a couple, or going your separate ways.

Wolf

August 5th, 2002, 02:42 AM