dlmiller
September 27th, 2008, 04:06 AM
Hi everyone!
I've browsed these forums for awhile now, and always meant to get register but never actually done it until today. The reason why I am posting here is kinda complicated but hopefully I will come away with some decent advice.
Well, everyone knows what its like to get to university for the first time, meeting new people, forging friendships, relationships, making decisions you wish you could take back, you know, the usual things everyone has to deal with. So there I was, first year university, never had kissed a girl, finally over that awkward stage of high school. I met this amazing girl; you could defintely tell there were sparks between us. We had a class together, so between that and outside of class, the flirting was continuous. I had my first kiss on a couch watching a movie after an amazing day. It was one of the greatest days of my life but also in hindsight, one of my worst.
There were only two problems with us actually dating.
1) She had a boyfriend. Granted it was long-distance, but she was "already taken"
2) After we kissed, I made the stupidest mistake I have ever made without thinking. I told her I loved her. She was the first girl I had ever kissed, and it kinda just slipped out. I care about her a lot. She is absolutly amazing.
After that day, she was really torn up about cheating on her boyfriend and ended up telling him about me. She decided to stay with him instead of me, so we drifted apart. Only it was a bit difficult to forget about her when we shared the same class 3 times a week. The summer came, I tried every trick in the book to forget about her, and managed to almost successfully forget about her. I ended up getting another girlfriend, but knew i wasnt happy with her, so we broke up fairly quickly. Ah well...
Well September rolled around, I ended up switching departments into the one she was in, due to our mutual love of the theatre. So not only did i see her almost daily, we had to work together on shows. By this time, my interest had been rekindled, and I was a love-sick puppy again, trying hard to stop these feelings i had for her. Halfway through the year, she came up to me, apologized the way she had treated me the previous year and summer, and told me she had broken up with her boyfriend. Now most people would say, "She still really likes you! Go for it, dont be afraid!" We started hanging out again, but nothing to the extent of the year before. We talked about out "Situation" and decided that neither of us were just quite ready to get into a serious relationship at that time. So we continued to remain "friends". We still constantly flirt and hang out with friends.
That was last year. I decided this summer that I would try and see if there was a shot. I've realized that even after 2 years, and all the crap that happened, I still really like her. I want to see what would happen if we actually did date. Would it work? I dont even know if she shares my feelings.
While talking on msn with her today, she mentioned in a teasing way "_______ thinks you like me:P" Now given our history together, she knows that i've really liked her for many years. It seems to me that this was a pretty obvious question. "Do you like me still?" The answer, if you cant tell by now, is yes. I still REALLY like her. What i dont know is if that was her asking in a exasperated tone "you STILL like me?!" or more of a interested way, "you still like ME?!"
Q) Did my "I love you" scare the living hell out of her and she doesnt want anything to do with me based on my quickness of saying these words?
A) My belief is that she realized that it was the first time i ever kissed a girl, and has basically forgot about it....
Q) Am I just a coward for not asking her directly?
A) A Coward, no....but i am an idiot for just not asking her. The longer i wait, the less of a chance that anything would happen.... I really need to bite the bullet and just ask her.
Q) I have never had a longterm girlfriend before, and simply dont know what to do on dates and the like. Back in first year, it was great because it wasnt defined, and i think that the title of "girlfriend" is more then slightly intimidating to a guy who has been single for the better part of 21 years. Is my fear of not knowing what to do stopping me from taking a step in the right way?
A) These feelings I have of awkwardness when thinking about dating seem to be fairly common among all people when they first start dating. There isnt anything the matter with me, other then the fact these doubts of mine are ruining any chance at happiness.
Q) Should I leave well along, and continue to just be friends?
A) While we get along great as friends, it is my feeling that we could be more then friends. However, the last thing I want to happen is for us to stop being friends. I would rather just be friends then nothing at all. Cliche used by all people procrastinating? YOU KNOW IT! lol. I realize this, but it is true.
Well that is essentially my life story pertaining to this one girl. I think while I was writing this lovesickening essay, i've come to some realizations about myself. By writing to complete strangers, I have seen things from different lights and am able to see my problem from a different perspective. Any helpful comments, advice, or just a :) to let me know the best way to deal with my feelings for this amazing person. Sorry about the length, but i felt that i might as well include everything to give everyone a better understanding of what I am going through. I know this is not rocket science, but it sure feels like it. Thank you again for your advice.
I've browsed these forums for awhile now, and always meant to get register but never actually done it until today. The reason why I am posting here is kinda complicated but hopefully I will come away with some decent advice.
Well, everyone knows what its like to get to university for the first time, meeting new people, forging friendships, relationships, making decisions you wish you could take back, you know, the usual things everyone has to deal with. So there I was, first year university, never had kissed a girl, finally over that awkward stage of high school. I met this amazing girl; you could defintely tell there were sparks between us. We had a class together, so between that and outside of class, the flirting was continuous. I had my first kiss on a couch watching a movie after an amazing day. It was one of the greatest days of my life but also in hindsight, one of my worst.
There were only two problems with us actually dating.
1) She had a boyfriend. Granted it was long-distance, but she was "already taken"
2) After we kissed, I made the stupidest mistake I have ever made without thinking. I told her I loved her. She was the first girl I had ever kissed, and it kinda just slipped out. I care about her a lot. She is absolutly amazing.
After that day, she was really torn up about cheating on her boyfriend and ended up telling him about me. She decided to stay with him instead of me, so we drifted apart. Only it was a bit difficult to forget about her when we shared the same class 3 times a week. The summer came, I tried every trick in the book to forget about her, and managed to almost successfully forget about her. I ended up getting another girlfriend, but knew i wasnt happy with her, so we broke up fairly quickly. Ah well...
Well September rolled around, I ended up switching departments into the one she was in, due to our mutual love of the theatre. So not only did i see her almost daily, we had to work together on shows. By this time, my interest had been rekindled, and I was a love-sick puppy again, trying hard to stop these feelings i had for her. Halfway through the year, she came up to me, apologized the way she had treated me the previous year and summer, and told me she had broken up with her boyfriend. Now most people would say, "She still really likes you! Go for it, dont be afraid!" We started hanging out again, but nothing to the extent of the year before. We talked about out "Situation" and decided that neither of us were just quite ready to get into a serious relationship at that time. So we continued to remain "friends". We still constantly flirt and hang out with friends.
That was last year. I decided this summer that I would try and see if there was a shot. I've realized that even after 2 years, and all the crap that happened, I still really like her. I want to see what would happen if we actually did date. Would it work? I dont even know if she shares my feelings.
While talking on msn with her today, she mentioned in a teasing way "_______ thinks you like me:P" Now given our history together, she knows that i've really liked her for many years. It seems to me that this was a pretty obvious question. "Do you like me still?" The answer, if you cant tell by now, is yes. I still REALLY like her. What i dont know is if that was her asking in a exasperated tone "you STILL like me?!" or more of a interested way, "you still like ME?!"
Q) Did my "I love you" scare the living hell out of her and she doesnt want anything to do with me based on my quickness of saying these words?
A) My belief is that she realized that it was the first time i ever kissed a girl, and has basically forgot about it....
Q) Am I just a coward for not asking her directly?
A) A Coward, no....but i am an idiot for just not asking her. The longer i wait, the less of a chance that anything would happen.... I really need to bite the bullet and just ask her.
Q) I have never had a longterm girlfriend before, and simply dont know what to do on dates and the like. Back in first year, it was great because it wasnt defined, and i think that the title of "girlfriend" is more then slightly intimidating to a guy who has been single for the better part of 21 years. Is my fear of not knowing what to do stopping me from taking a step in the right way?
A) These feelings I have of awkwardness when thinking about dating seem to be fairly common among all people when they first start dating. There isnt anything the matter with me, other then the fact these doubts of mine are ruining any chance at happiness.
Q) Should I leave well along, and continue to just be friends?
A) While we get along great as friends, it is my feeling that we could be more then friends. However, the last thing I want to happen is for us to stop being friends. I would rather just be friends then nothing at all. Cliche used by all people procrastinating? YOU KNOW IT! lol. I realize this, but it is true.
Well that is essentially my life story pertaining to this one girl. I think while I was writing this lovesickening essay, i've come to some realizations about myself. By writing to complete strangers, I have seen things from different lights and am able to see my problem from a different perspective. Any helpful comments, advice, or just a :) to let me know the best way to deal with my feelings for this amazing person. Sorry about the length, but i felt that i might as well include everything to give everyone a better understanding of what I am going through. I know this is not rocket science, but it sure feels like it. Thank you again for your advice.