Are people constantly asking you ...

[OvershareDude]

"So when are you getting married?"

OK, so I've been in a long term relationship now for 3 years soon and I do see myself marrying this girl, but we're young and can't afford to live a life of our own. Doesn't mean we don't want to get married or won't, just because it hasn't happened yet.

So does this bug you? Do you do it to people? do you do it to me, if so please stop it.

hehe

your thoughts?

[BabyDiva]

Just simply respond with "when we're ready and able."

Don't let people get to you.

However, just a thought, nothing will ever be exactly as you want it. If you're in your 20s, you most likely want to have a degree and a stable job. Then you'll want to have money in the bank. Then you may think you want to first secure a home on your own. Then you need a better...

See, a vicious trend starts. We, as humans, are always looking for that next step to be satisfied with our lives. When we get there...it's the next step.

So, while you want to wait for the "right time." Sometimes, you'll need to make your own right time. Only you will know when that will be though. So, don't let the others get you down. Enjoy what you have and you'll know when to put a ring on her finger and start planning.

[Nurseman]

People usually ask me, "So, when is your appointment with the Plastic Surgeon?"

Lots of times they ask, "Mark, when are you going to lose some wight?"

Often they want to know, "Mark, have you seen the movie, "The Elephant Man". When I reply, "No". and ask why, they avert their eyes and say, "Uhhh, no special reason."
I think that's odd.

[Kuky]

Haha YES! After the 3 year mark, people start pestering you about it, as if they actually like going to weddings or something. :lol:

Difference is I was already having doubts, and the pestering really did get me to think about things longer term, and helped to expediate ending it.

Just simply respond with "when we're ready and able."

That's the perfect answer. Say it calmly. If they keep digging, just repeat it, calmly, using the exact same words and tone of voice. They'll get off your back in no time.

[OvershareDude]

its not that people pester me about it, i'm just sick of everyone assuming that being in a LTR means we're goign to get married tomorrow

well, i have a job that is probably dead end... but it pays alright for now
its not just me being ready, my gf is 2.5 years younger than me (22) and she isn't ready for the next step.

I feel ready to move out with her but she isn't so thats cool
I think i'd want to live with her before getting married but we don't want to rent so i doubt we'll be out before we're married

[Jenibear]

my favorite question they ask me (I've been with my s/o for 5 years now)

"Your engaged right?"

NO I am not engaged.. we are 23!!! GOODNNNNNEEESSSSSS!!!!

It gets on my nerves for a little bit then I just forget about it.

I just recently got asked by a family member saying "Have you at least talked about it?"

We have.. just not super serious cause we are still young and have A LOT to do before we settle down.

[treazzure007]

my husband and i got married at 24. it was due to us being completely in love, wanting to be together forever, and religious beliefs. we were both in college (he still is) and we had little income (still do). we just decided to take the leap, had a wonderful wedding (parents paid for it), got a home and have been doing our thing.
today, people feel like they have to have a million things lined up and done b/4 they get married. that's society's teachings. it's not true. all that's needed is love, desire, and dedication. besides, both of us knew it was gonna take hard work to get each of us where we wanted to be, so we've teamed up and are doing it together, side by side
it's not about age, it's about your feelings and you'll both know when you're ready to make a move like that

[Harper]

I know exactly what you mean, OvershareDude. I get this a fair bit myself - and it's not limited to people I'm particularly close with, either. I told an online acquaintance how long I've been with my gf, and the first thing out of her mouth (more or less) was "are you planning on marrying her?" My genuine answer (that I would when I was able to) was taken as being "typically male and evasive". I was like, wha? I thought it was pretty direct, myself.

It does grate, I agree.

BabyDiva's suggested retort is great - I'll be adopting it myself the next time this occurs.

[water nymph]

If no one is in objection I am going to archive this thread when it runs its course. It is straight forward and provides some useful insight for couples who are on the receiving end of marriage pestering.