Why do guys want to date their friends but girls don't?

[Redneck]

Seeing the questions about guys wanting to date their female friends started me wondering. Ignoring some guys penchant for judgeing attractiveness by looks alone, why is it that guys are often attracted to their friends, and why are there girls who won't even consider dating a friend? What do yall think?

[LuckyRiverJordan]

well, i think it goes both way. I rather date someone i have known for a while than go out with a total stranger. Its not just girls and its not just guys that are willing to date their friends/don't want anything to do with dating a friend. You can't make an accusation on one's gender.

[8IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID]

1st off that's not always the case. it can be the girl after her guy-friend too. but i suppose it does happen a bit more on our side.

girls on the whole generally tend to wait for the approach when it comes to guys and if the guy approaches he's probably interested anyway.. or if they start talking to a guy he'll understand it as a pass becuz guys mostly assume too much and will probably act on it accordingly. girls seem much more inclined to be perfectly comfortable with platonic relationships than guys anyway because they tend to assume less than guys and also becuz they're not as horny in general (although a lot of girls are pretty damn horny..)

guys are usually more forward about approaching a girl. Inexperienced guys (and there're naturally a lot of them out there) who dont really know how to go about getting a girl, approach her thinking that being really really nice to her and becoming her close friend is the key to getting play. if u do that ur likely to just end up holding her handbag like a good friend while she hits the bathroom for a quickie with some dude...
...... not like that ever happened to me..... :oops:

[pandoragoddess]

i have never really fallen for a guy who wasn't a friend first.

so yes, i think saying it's only guys would be a generalization. some guys do, some don't. same with girls. :)

[zoe]

HAH. I wouldn't even dare to date a guy that wasn't a friend first. I would never date someone that was a stranger. If they're not good enough to be a friend first, they're definately not good enough to be a boyfriend.

[Deidre]

After reading a lot of posts like these ones over the time I've been here (Dec. 2000-) I've started to wonder just what kind of value everyone puts into the word friend.

I'd known my boyfriend for 7 months online and 1 month offline (meeting once or twice a week) by the time we started dating... and I don't consider that he was my friend. He was an acquaintance.

My ex, however, I'd say we were friends before, because we were in a position where we talked about anything with each other. He was (and is) one of the few people I'd tell things. One of the less than a dozen people I'd give the title 'friend'.

[hunny]

I think girls tend to value friendship over practically anything else, in lots of cases. We don't want to lose a good friend, and if you are good friends with a girl, chances are the friendship will fall by the wayside if and when you date and then break up.
I also think guys are more likely to see girls they like as potential girlfriends, period. If you're friends with a girl, you probably have some physical attraction for her, and the friendship doesn't stop you from thinking there could be 'more.'
Just another basic difference between the sexes. It's those kinds of differences that keep things interesting, no?

[Redneck]

Great responses everyone.I didn't intend to to seem like it is true 100% of the time. Just that everytime I have asked out a friend or just an aquaintance, I feel like it would have been better If I had just shot myself in the foot instead and saved myself some embarassment. Like I was telling my friend the other day, I would give billions of dollars for a magic 8-ball that actually worked.

[Aero]

When girls say "I don't want to ruin this friendship" don't they actually mean "I'm not interested in you, so let's just be friends"?
OR do they really value friendship more, as hunny said?

[zoe]

When girls say "I don't want to ruin this friendship" don't they actually mean "I'm not interested in you, so let's just be friends"?
OR do they really value friendship more, as hunny said?

For me, it's that I'm not interested in them in that way, or I haven't realized it yet..

[jungAH]

Ditto to Zoe... I mean, there're some people that I could never imagine being more than a good friend... and I admit that there've been times that I thought that, but then it all changed after a while...

*shrugs* I guess it all depends. I know I'd much rather be with some guy who I've known and been friends with before (but not omitting other circumstances altogether, of course).

[HurleyGirlie]

I'll admit that I'm a little scared of the outcome if I were to come on to one of my guy friends....mostly that I'd be scared of losing our friendship. Ugh, but sometimes you just have to go for it and see what happens. Never know until you find out if they like you back. So I guess all in all it's easier to be friends with the guy first instead of rushing things with someone you really don't know all that well.

[Danae]

The guys I've dated have been friends before hand. I have to get to know someone before I deem them worthy of dating :P

[mistyc]

To all you girls who said you want him as a friend first.. I have one question to ask you.

If Brad Pitt (or Tom Cruise or whoever floats your boat) came to you and wanted to date you, would you tell him "no I want to be friend before we date" or would you jump in his bed before he even finished asking you out?

[super_chevy2000]

I think girls want to do this like guys do but I think that most of the time girls may try to ignore the feeling because they are afraid of losing a good friendship if they try to do it so they don't bother. Where guys are willing to just take that risk to see where it goes.

[Wrightman84]

well it sux when u meet a girl that just wants to be friends and you want somethng else, and u just can't bear to be "just friends" so you end up messing up the friendship and leaving in general... arg hate girls lik that... well hate is kinda strong, but i don't like girls taht i like and they only want to be friends, even when they claim ur reli hot arg

[HurleyGirlie]

To all you girls who said you want him as a friend first.. I have one question to ask you.

If Brad Pitt (or Tom Cruise or whoever floats your boat) came to you and wanted to date you, would you tell him "no I want to be friend before we date" or would you jump in his bed before he even finished asking you out?

And I have one question for you...What the hell kind of question is that?!

[mistyc]

You know very well what kind of question that is. Now answer! :)

[Aero]

well it sux when u meet a girl that just wants to be friends and you want somethng else, and u just can't bear to be "just friends" so you end up messing up the friendship and leaving in general... arg hate girls lik that... well hate is kinda strong, but i don't like girls taht i like and they only want to be friends, even when they claim ur reli hot arg You sure those girls were willing to go out with you if it wasn't for the friendship? Like I was saying, they may just say they don't want to ruin the friendship to avoid saying 'I'm not interested in you.'
But that's just me.

[Danae]

On the Brad Pitt/Tom Cruise thing I'd prolly say...You're one f'ing sicko, considering they're 35ish and 40ish.

[mistyc]

PerkyGal.. You don't understand.

Is there a celebrity you really really really like? Or perhaps a guy you really have the hots for (which is what I implied by the celebrity thing). If that were to happen, I don't think you'd tell him "let's be friends first".

[eatshit]

err i think we're trying to relate the topic of this thread to realistic situations *ahem*

optimally, i think most girls would want to get to know the guy before going out with him... just so they sortof know what theyre getting into!

[mistyc]

that's the point of "Dates". Heck. If a girl really really really liked someone (celebrity or not! That was just an example!) I don't think she'd get to be his friend first.

To say otherwise is bullshit. My tip to you guys: the friendzone is to be avoided if you like a girl!

[PiNcHe_MaNiAcO]

fuck i forgot what i was going to say :-? damn song i got into it again :P