The Penis Owner's Manual

[BigJim]

I did one of these a while back, thought I'd redo it! :D

The Penis:

Average length and diameter (flaccid) - 3.5 x 1.25 inches
Average length and diameter (erect) - 5.1 x 1.6 inches
Average percent increase in volume, flaccid to erect - 300% (wow!)
Longest medically recorded erection - 12 inches
Amount of blood in erect penis - 8 to 10 x normal
Average erections per night (while sleeping) - 5
Average duration of each nocturnal erection - 20 to 30 minutes
CAUTION! -- The following can shrink a relaxed penis by two inches or more: - cold weather, chilly baths or showers, sexual activity, exhaustion, excitement (non sexual), illness and thoughts of Androk naked.

The Testicles:
Average length and width - 1.4 x 1 inch
Average weight - 0.875 x 1.75 ounces
Temperature - 94.6 degrees Fahrenheit
Compartments within each - 400

Sperm:
Average body's production - 50,000 per minute/72 million per day (and remember lads, it only takes 1!)
Days to maturity - 84
Number in ejaculate of average fertile man - 200 to 600 million
Number of ejaculate of infertile man - less than 50 million
Percentage of total ejaculate - 3%
Average swimming speed - 1 to 4 millimeters per minute
Average life span once mature - 1 month in you, 1 to 2 days in woman, 2 minutes on sheets
CAUTION! --The testicles need to be slightly cooler than normal body temperature for optimum sperm production. That's why they hang away from the body. Hot baths and tight underwear can depress sperm count and movement.

Semen:
Average volume of ejaculate - 0.5 to 1 teaspoon
Chief ingredient - Fructose sugar
Caloric content - 5 calories per teaspoon
Protein content - 6 milligrams per teaspoon
Average number of ejaculatory spurts - 3 to 10
Average interval of ejaculatory contractions - 0.8 seconds
Farthest medically recorded ejaculation - 11.7 inches

The Bladder:
Average capacity - 7 to 13 ounces
Normal flow - 7 to 8 ounces per 10 seconds

[Slimeboy]

Can we get these in real measuments please?

[Deidre]

Can we get these in real measuments please?
An inch is 2.54 cm. Learn it. Remember it.

[sunfrost]

Can we get these in real measuments please?
An inch is 2.54 cm. Learn it. Remember it.

No, people have to learn to use standard measurements. an ounce or an inche aren't SI units and not to be used in any scientific work.(info => http://www.unc.edu/~rowlett/units/sipm.html)

Using non standard measurements gives this, http://slashdot.org/articles/99/09/30/1437217.shtml crashing satellites.

The SI units are the only accepted as standard and correct measurements for scientific data, by convention. It's only a few chauvinists that use those measurements. If you use it for your own personal use OK, but for scientific data use the SI measurements.

Same goes for latin names of species of animal. God knows what the correct english name for "sharp butter flower" (just translated word for word from dutch) may be, but a biologist from the states knows that "rannunculus acris" is the flower I'm talking about.

[Deidre]

No, people have to learn to use standard measurements.
SI units are great, sure. I use them in every day life too (with the possible exclusion of the Kalvin scale). I DO know, however, that all people don't use standard measurements and instead of whining about the fact that I don't understand when someone puts something down in Farenheit or in hands; I find out that the Farenheit temperature is t * (9/5) + 32 and that a hand is 10 cm.

If my physics book started putting things down in miles and inches I'd be slightly pissed off, though.

[Wolf]

No, people have to learn to use standard measurements.
SI units are great, sure. I use them in every day life too (with the possible exclusion of the Kalvin scale). I DO know, however, that all people don't use standard measurements and instead of whining about the fact that I don't understand when someone puts something down in Farenheit or in hands; I find out that the Farenheit temperature is t * (9/5) + 32 and that a hand is 10 cm.

If my physics book started putting things down in miles and inches I'd be slightly pissed off, though.

uhh... Slightly?

[Wolf]

Can we get these in real measuments please?
An inch is 2.54 cm. Learn it. Remember it.

No, people have to learn to use standard measurements. an ounce or an inche aren't SI units and not to be used in any scientific work.(info => http://www.unc.edu/~rowlett/units/sipm.html)

Using non standard measurements gives this, http://slashdot.org/articles/99/09/30/1437217.shtml crashing satellites.

The SI units are the only accepted as standard and correct measurements for scientific data, by convention. It's only a few chauvinists that use those measurements. If you use it for your own personal use OK, but for scientific data use the SI measurements.

Same goes for latin names of species of animal. God knows what the correct english name for "sharp butter flower" (just translated word for word from dutch) may be, but a biologist from the states knows that "rannunculus acris" is the flower I'm talking about.

Although I too would like to re-learn all the animal names I know in latin, it most likely will not happen... It is ok to want change, but this is rather overboard...

[sunfrost]

The latin names are just an example to prove that if you want to be international with data you have to stick to conventions or you will be excluded from all what's going on.
Writing names in english is such a convention for biology publications.

[Spatula]

Screw all of you and your metric scale!!!!

*wonders how obvious it is that the US school system has already corrupted me with their inches and miles*

[Raptor]

i'm sure mine aint 1.6 inches (4cm) wide. U sure u got that right? coz if not....DAMN! Nah i aint that far off!

[Am I tight or not?]

i'm sure mine aint 1.6 inches (4cm) wide. U sure u got that right? coz if not....DAMN! Nah i aint that far off!
ya that's right
1.6 inches wide means radius = 0.8 inches and circumference (2*PI*radius) is approximately 5 inches, which I have measured.
I know it sounds big but it isn't

[SupernaturalNympho]

Aside from all this 'unit' talk (heh heh), excellent work Nate *salutes*

[obsidian]

Good stuff Nate

[Jebus]

This is one of those topics that can make or break a man's day :D .

[Lone Wolf]

ok, now that I know all that I might want a "how to use"-manual, too...

:roll:


Lone Wolf :mrgreen:

[super_chevy2000]

This is a cool post! It has some very interesting information.

[BigJim]

what the f...???

SI???

yeah, the first one i did was in metric, thought i'd do this one in imperial sizes for a change.

[goofball]

si units are better simply because everything goes like multiples of 10

[goofball]

as opposed to 12 inches in a foot, 3 feet in a yard, 5280 feet in a mile and even more obscure things for other measurable quantities

[BigJim]

if you're aware goofball, i'm an aussie and we're fully SI as from 1967 (i think). we never use inches and ounces and shit.

just last time i did one it was in metric and all you americans were going (wtf...) so i thought this time i'd do it in imperial for you.

[Jackal]

seems to me like this is bull, seriously 5.1 is average boner size?
I mean.. there must be something weighing down the measurements ...

either that or i'm lucky, but I doubt it...
.
.
:-?

[BigJim]

no. it's right. 5-5.5 inches is the world mean average erect penis length.

[goofball]

yeah, i think the USA should just switch overnight (like the aussie's did, i believe)

even the brits don't use their units anymore

[Jackal]

wow.. its kind of surprising and depressing at same time..

[kuju]

What do you mean by "A hand is 10 cm" Deidre? *confused*


and nice work Nate...

[Deidre]

What do you mean by "A hand is 10 cm" Deidre? *confused*
A hand... as in a hand high.. 10hh etc. It's a measurement used the height of horses...

[Slimeboy]

if you're aware goofball, i'm an aussie and we're fully SI as from 1967 (i think). we never use inches and ounces and shit.

just last time i did one it was in metric and all you americans were going (wtf...) so i thought this time i'd do it in imperial for you.

Why did you change it then? Should of kept it the same.

[Deidre]

Why did you change it then? Should of kept it the same.
Didn't he just say that in the part you quoted? Yes. Yes he did.

[SoSweetAngel]

Why did you change it then? Should of kept it the same.
Didn't he just say that in the part you quoted? Yes. Yes he did.

:roll: uhhh, thanks Deidre - saved me a rant.


Yah - a hand is 4 inches - it's supposed to be the width of a mans hand or something.
I'd say in england we use imperial and metric pretty equally. Mostly metric but miles are used not kilometers. It's best to be reasonably comfortable with both - but I guess you don't have the capacity eh slimy?

[Raptor]

how many yards are there in a mile and in a km?