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View Full Version : Now long distance attempt


allgood57
October 5th, 2007, 10:41 PM
Alright, I guess I'm comming to you all as the confused, love struck/sick, 25 yr old single guy. I fell for this girl 2 and a half yrs ago the day i met her. We have spent a good deal of time together, never overnight, and we havn't hooked up or anything like that. I have always been a bit shy arround her, and when i met her I was a very shy person. Since then I have gotten more into the customer service end of my industry, and have great people skills as my numbers are quite high on sales, however arround her i was still very shy and unsure. Well, i moved 1200 miles away 4 weeks ago. we have talked more since i moved, than in the previous few months. It's like 2 hrs a night now. Anyway, I have a soft spot for writing stories, and poems. (she says they are "really, really good") She is the only one i have, and ever will send them to just because she is my inspiration, and motivation. I have told her this. Well, this last story (40-60 pages, 10pt font) the main characters were modeled after us. The guy was a shy person that didn't know how to express his feelings, and the female somehow knew, but waited till he stumbled a little trying to tell her before she came out and told him that she loved him to and just say it... well, i don't know if she got it. she loved the story, and said that it was her favorite yet. I have sent 4 total.

OK, to the point. we have never defined our relationship. she is successful at her job, making great money, and I am too, but 1200 miles apart. Two questions. 1) How do I go about starting a relationship with her, or finding out if she wants that too. 2) Is this something that can work? or am I just screwed? I really enjoy talking to her and spending any time i can with her when i could, she did too. I'll make time and move anything else out of my schedule to make time for her. Recently I went through some rough times this summer and lost the 3 most influential people in my last 20 years. that is kind of what provoked my move of 1200 miles away. well, she is my only connection to the last few years that i still stay in contact with. I'm not a flirt, i don't meet a lot of new people. let alone girlfriends, and worry about turning this friendship sour by trying to further our relationship? I want to find out what she thinks. do i just come out and ask and tell her how i feel? Thanks. I know this is asking a lot for my first post, but this looks like a great forum with even better people!

allgood57
October 7th, 2007, 02:27 AM
well, i brought it up with her, and explained my motivations and whatnot. well, now she is awfully reserved while talking to me. Did i mess things up? or is this something that will just take a little time to get back to "just friends"?

vegasmarriedman
October 7th, 2007, 03:03 AM
hey, you took a shot.

it sounds like she is a bit confused about how she feels.

think about it from her point of view.

a guy who she's known for 2+ years, decides to tell her how he feels only after moving 1200 miles away.

a bit confusing to say the least.
if she has a good self esteem, and is comfortable with her situation; she is not going to place any importance on how you feel now.
what is she supposed to do with this info?
you have just given her a bunch of baggage to carry around, and she has no idea where to put it.

you need to tell her that you are just lonely in the new town, that you appreciate her friendship, and that you hope you have not screwed it up by being a sap.
let her off the hook, and just value her friendship.

you should not pursue this anymore as a romantic relationship.
keep her as your friend, and find love elsewhere.

BTW, there is not one person on the earth who only has "one" inspiration.
dont burden her with this stuff anymore.
hope this helps,
sorry if i sound harsh. its not meant that way,
VMM

allgood57
October 9th, 2007, 11:35 PM
yea, i pretty much figured that out too. She is a good friend. I think we'll probably keep it that way.

allgood57
October 10th, 2007, 12:42 AM
and then with that final conversatoin it's over. we had a nice talk and she knew that i was still flirting with her and she tried to ignore some of it. because she knew that we couldn't be more than friends. so, she told me to stop (nicely) so that my feelings wouldn't be "dashed" in the future. so, crap. i'm now compleetly single now?... just lonely...

hands_on_fire
October 12th, 2007, 07:38 PM
I'm sorry it didn't work out, but you tried. I know how sucky being single can be right after you get pushed away from someone, but keep your head up and try to do some things that will make you feel single and confident. You'll find someone else.