Why women are afraid to hit on men?

[jasmine28]

I want to ask this question of all my fellow women: why do you let men have all the initiative? Why are so many of you afraid to hit on guys?
Jasmine

[melby1980]

lol Not all women are, I made the first move with all of my love interests.

[melby1980]

then again maybe that's why I am confused and have problems???

[FranciscoJose]

1) Men are the hunters and gatherers. While very neanderthal like, it's how we view things.

2) Sometimes when women act really strong and upfront and so forth, it kinda puts us off. Not that there's anything wrong with a strong woman. But when she takes a "male's stance"...it's a bit weird.

3) I don't know...you're the women...lol

[Rammstein39]

Some girls would rather be sought after as a form of attention and flattery. They may feel as if they are acting desperate if they themselves approach a guy. Some also feel like thats a "guy thing" to do. I've taken the initiative before a number of times and it has worked out well for me in many cases, but there have been times where it has come off as desperate or something like that.

(note that I said SOME girls.... I know there are exceptions out there).

[sunrise8]

That's my issue with it. I can't "hit on" a guy without feeling like I will come across as desperate. I also had a male friend tell me "that's not the kinda girls guys dig" (in his own words). I don't want to come off as desperate, I don't want to put the guy off and I feel like I'm not being true to myself (because I always thought guys should make the first move, old-fashioned I know), that's why I don't hit on guys.

And the place I work in is a gossip mill. If you're aggressive with a guy and that puts him off, it's all over the place that you're a wh*re or a crazy stalker and that ruins your chances of finding someone there. Stupid I know.

[AlphaMale]

almost all initial encounters are indirectly initiated by the female with eye contact and body language or a smile. the woman show interest in a particular dude indirectly and if he's interested and has the balls then he approaches her and starts talking. the rest is history.

women do this to let the dude think that he made the initial move when in all actuality she did.

[Cous Cous With Goose]

Alpha's response is pretty much dead on, at least the way I see it. I never even thought of this, but it's so f'n true. I'll usually stare at a girl and if she responds positively then I'll make a move. Course, that may just be because of my charming good looks[no ego] ;) lol

Actually even then I sometimes delay it, like I'll make a girl wait a couple days in class, like I know she's staring at me and show NO interest in her. Then all of the sudden I will. Haha fun stuff!

Other than that, I believe it's because its the man's duty to be a man. Women like to be the cute fuzzy cuddly creatures and be protected by their shield(the real man). The fake men are the nice guys. Seriously, think about it. I'm sure you've met that person who is a 'nice guy/girl'. They agree with everything you say, compliment you with what they think are comments the person will value but inside you're thinking 'PLAYED! PLAYED! THIS PERSON IS PATHETIC!' lol and thus you begin dreading to see them or you just don't want to hang around them. That's what a nice guy is. In a relationship, they'll constantly compliment the girl and won't give her anything to value, making her think 'this guy is pathetic', and thus the cheating begins.

Another reason I think is because women who are more aggressive tend to be viewed as whores, and that's the lowest rep a girl can get. Sometimes it's just a confidence issue though, they fear rejection.

[AlphaMale]

Alpha's response is pretty much dead on, at least the way I see it. .
well no shit CCWG...every research study done on this subject has had this result.

[Cous Cous With Goose]

I don't research or look about news articles on love

[preedee]

Hah, maybe I'm just arrogant then - I love making the move on guys. I don't just wait around for a fit guy to come and talk to me. If I fancy him, I talk to him - once suitably flirty eye contact has been made, of course.

[AlphaMale]

Hah, maybe I'm just arrogant then - I love making the move on guys.
I don't like pushy and assertive women....i've gone out with women who asked me out first and had sex with them but i've never had a relationship with one. I guess it just starts everything out on the wrong foot for me and it doesn't feel right. Hey, but i'll never say no to some good old-fashioned casual sex...:laugh:

[mini696]

There is nothing wrong with a girl asking a guy out, and the guys who say they dont like the girl making the first move are usually control freaks.

[AlphaMale]

and the guys who say they dont like the girl making the first move are usually control freaks.
and what's wrong with that? someone has to be in control cause most women definitely aren't in control (and actually don't want to be in control)

[mini696]

and what's wrong with that? someone has to be in control cause most women definitely aren't in control (and actually don't want to be in control) And men are in control? The problem with control freaks is that they are usually aggressive in their actions. The thing with everything in life is we are never in control (not fully) and when something goes wrong, the control freaks blame the people around them for their problems.

[AlphaMale]

And men are in control? The problem with control freaks is that they are usually aggressive in their actions. The thing with everything in life is we are never in control (not fully) and when something goes wrong, the control freaks blame the people around them for their problems.
many of the greatest and most famous men in history were all control freaks...some were good and some were bad. But they all had one thing in common, and that was the compulsive need to be in control.

[dtbmnec]

I want to ask this question of all my fellow women: why do you let men have all the initiative? Why are so many of you afraid to hit on guys?
Jasmine

...fear of rejection...

OH who saw that one coming?! OMG....

Megan

P.S. That's always been the reason why....then again I kinda heavily flirted with the current boyfriend before we started going out....