Brain spazzing....(rambling)

[dtbmnec]

Does anyone on here feel their own age?

Let me explain...

I'm 21 and I don't feel it. I feel like 19 or 18 or something...but not 21...

I will sit in a cafe and a group of University and/or College students will come in and sit down and I"ll think to myself "I can't wait to be a student" only to realise that (duh!) I am one (otherwise it'd be hard to explain the 40 grand I'm in debt :p). I'll sit in class and learn what I'm supposed to but outside of class I'm still years younger than I actually am. I'm almost done my formal schooling and yet I feel like I'm supposed to be just starting!

When I'm in a group of people I automatically assume that they're all like me! Ok that sounds self centered but let me explain. I simply assume that they're all in the same stage of life I'm at (going to school, not married, no kids, enough financial disaster to keep you on your toes) and that therefore they're also the same age as me, or maybe a year or two older (unless its obvious they ARE older). And then they bring up kids or their hubby/wife or whatever and I realise that they are older than me and sometimes five or more years older than me even if they don't look it. I then feel vaguely left out and stuff...like I'm on the sidelines waiting to get in the game but not allowed yet because I pulled a muscle or something.

Then there's my relationship...oh boy this is a long one...hard to explain too...I don't feel old enough to be in a serious relationship...I kind of feel like I should still be dating around...and yet I've found this wonderful man and don't want to date around...I mean we've moved in together and it almost feels like we're married...we work out finances together...we put up with each other's little quirks...we talk...we go out...we are a WE and a serious one at that...I mean yeah I was with Cody for over a year but Arron and I are really close to 2 years together...I mean two years is a bit of a long time! And the year with Cody didn't have the same feeling...but Arron...Arron feels right...

Marriage...oh gosh another big one tied into relationships...I've always maintained that I'm not going to be married until 25 or so (at least...duh) and I keep thinking its going to arrive in FIVE years...but its gonna be in less than that...and kids...I figured that kids were like ten years off or about five years or so after I got married...but that too is coming up faster than I thought! To top it all off everyone I know (or almost everyone) is getting married or having a baby...some of it is a lot earlier than I ever want to have been but at the other end is the people who are a few years older than me who are my friends and they are ready and moving on with their lives...and me...I'm still stuck on the sidelines wanting to get in the game but holding back for some reason...

Then just the other day Arron helped a girl move in some of her stuff (minor flash of jealousy...eh I'm possesive a bit! lol) and he referred to me as "the wife" (not in seriously being the wife thing but just as a way of telling her that he's got someone or something...better than "the other half" I suppose...) and later that day I asked if she needed more help...she was like "umm no we're ok but thank your husband for his help earlier"...and I was shocked...first off cuz I didn't realise Arron referred to me as "the wife"...and secondly because it didn't...sound so bad...but now I'm back to "do I really want to marry Arron at some point" and I'm not sure what the answer to that is or even if I should be having an answer at this stage in the game...fuck I can't figure out what stage in the game I'm at! lol

Anyway...thanks for listening...comment...whatever...or just ignore my random babblings...needed to get this all off my chest before I went nuts or pushed it all away again...all is good :)

Oh and sorry it was so long...had to use paragraphs so people would actually read it :p (or pretend anyway)...

Megan

P.S. This is about as...philosophical(??) as I get...its rather scary in and of itself...lol

P.P.S. Cliff's notes: My brain is having a spaz right now about where I am in life and how I don't feel like I'm where I am in life...

[mini696]

I am 26, yet I dont relate to people my own age, I get along with people younger than me 19-23, and people older than me 30+.

The hardest thing for me to do is admit I am an adult, with adult responsibilies. I have debts, I have insurance eek, yet there are times where I wish I could sell everything I own and take a backpack and go bush.

The thing is I want so much more, a house, a wife, kids, self-employment.

I want to make my late grandfather proud.

Where am I... I think about it tomorrow.. Today I'm thinking about yesterday.

[Kuky]

I'm 25 and have a mortgage haha. Well, at least, WILL have one by the end of the month. It feels kinda weird. I think it has to do with the imaginary gap between "I'm a kid, I'm in school, etc." and "I'm a grownup, have a house, car, family, etc." Once you hit that "in-between limbo", I think it's pretty normal to feel the way you do. These things hit you fast.

[Madeleine]

I'm 22. Sometimes I feel like being 12 was only yesterday (I'm actually in the process of organising a 10 year reunion for my class back then so that might have something to do with it).

I don't feel my age. I forget that it's been four years since I finished high school, and every time I work with high school age kids I have to remind myself that I'm actually more than a couple of years older than them.

I'm in a serious relationship. I'm currently living at home (free food and room! yeah!). I have two part time jobs plus other casual work. I'm moving to another country for 18 months. I share a car with my partner. We've talking about getting married. I still have one paper to pass before I finish my diploma. I owe my parents money (for uni fees).
All this considered, I feel like I'm stuck in the middle of still being young (living at home, part time jobs, uni) and being "grown-up" (relationship, moving away, thinking about marriage).

I feel like I'm still so young but all these big "adult" things seem to be coming up so quickly and not as far away as I once though. So I get what you mean, Megan, about how everything seems to be coming on much sooner than expected. Marriage, kids and, well, 'the future' aren't the distant future any more.

[kuju]

Girl, I know EXACTLY how you feel... except for the 'husband' thing. :)

I usually relate better to people my age or younger... and I usually assume that young-looking people ARE around my age. But I'm in a professional program (nursing) and unless they clearly look over 35, I assume they're not over 27. I'm sometimes SHOCKED to hear that a girl is 28 and married, or just got pregnant, or already has kids. It's like they're in a different set than me, and we can't really relate, even though I love kids and all.

As for your relationship... I can understand how you can be kind of scared about being in such a lasting relationship, even if it is a loving one. You start thinking... is that it then? Even if it IS this good? And it can be a little shocking when someone thinks you're married and you're not... ESPECIALLY when it's your boyfriend who gave them the idea. But look at the bright side... he sees you as a companion, as well as a lover. He sees a future for you. Not many guys would be that comfortable calling their girlfriends "the wife" even casually in passing. It really shows his commitment to you.

By the way, I highly recommend you see the movie "The Last Kiss" out recently with Zach Braff. It deals with some of your relationship issues... jsut don't be as stupid (or assume that you boyfriend is as srupid) as Braff's character.

[dtbmnec]

All this considered, I feel like I'm stuck in the middle of still being young (living at home, part time jobs, uni) and being "grown-up" (relationship, moving away, thinking about marriage).

I feel like I'm still so young but all these big "adult" things seem to be coming up so quickly and not as far away as I once though. So I get what you mean, Megan, about how everything seems to be coming on much sooner than expected. Marriage, kids and, well, 'the future' aren't the distant future any more.

The funniest part of it all is that yes I am going to college but I'm not living at home at all and so its like everything in my life adult but I don't feel like one!

On top of this all the thing that set this all off was the fact that my parents are going to eat Thanksgiving dinner with Arron's parents...it seems like such a "married" thing to do doesn't it? Ack driving me up the wall it is :)

I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. :) Otherwise I think I'd go jump off the escarpment...

Megan

[rcwant2be]

i'm 25, & while i feel 25 & i want 25 year old things, husband, "family", home, etc., i apparently don't look 25 nor act it, and therein lies my problem. i was a spectator at a high school football game 2 weeks ago. the woman at the ticket booth asked if i were a student (there's a student rate). i said, no, i'm 25. i had something similar happen to me at a game last fall. a woman at an employment office told me i'd look 16 w/o my glasses. this is especially frustrating to me as i interview for jobs. who wants to hire someone who looks like a kid.

i decided wearing jewelry might help, so i stabbed my earrings back in my ears...i'm growing my hair out to chin length. i guess the final step would be wearing makeup, but i know NOTHING about the stuff, so i'd rather not.

[Deidre]

I'm 22. I feel... ageless.

I'm getting married this year. I have a mortgage, a car, a dog. My mind is constantly preoccupied with my CV and where my 'career' is going. I don't really react to other people having different life situations (I did when I was 18 and found out former classmates were knocked up or moving in with their 35 year old fiancé), because I've always had friends in very different places in life. The people I hang out with on a regular basis are ages 18-30, and some I hang out with less regularly are older still.

If anything I start reacting when people my age are not trying to get on with their life and still want to be kids and depend on their parents... so I guess I might feel "older" than I am, when it comes to people I've grown up with and such. People also often assume I'm at least 5 years older than I am, too, based on my situation (it's rare to buy a house in Sweden if you're under the age of 30).

[Kuky]

i'm 25, & while i feel 25 & i want 25 year old things, husband, "family", home, etc.

The thing that hits me most about this "quarter life crisis" thing is that I never felt that "husband" and "family" are "25 year old things". But then, if you ask, I won't know what-year-old thing it is.

A lot of people were engaged in university and got married the summer right after, so once the initial shock from the first wave wears off, I think I'll be ok again hehe.

[dtbmnec]

Funnily enough I used 25 because I figured that anything younger was too soon and anything really much older might cause me problems if I decided to have a kid....*shrugs* I didn't do it as a "quarter life crisis" at all...

Megan

[Madeleine]

I like the term "quarter life crisis". I mean, it's not really a crisis per se, but it does seem to describe this hazy phase of suddenly (or maybe not so suddenly) realising you're not a kid any more, and that as time passes you are exposed to more and more "adult" things. Except, we ARE adults.

It surprises me when people ask if I have kids, misinterpret my partner as my husband (though that's only happened once) which is all even more surprising given the fact that I've been told many times that I look a few years younger than my actual age. (I decided that was a good thing because when all my friends are complaining about being 30, I'll still look 25, lol. Not that my friends are the type to care about age, nor am I, really).

[dtbmnec]

ROFL on the kids thing...I have a friend of mine who's like you, she doesn't look her age, except she's like 20...and she went out and got her face painted at a random event and we were coming home on the bus...as we were waiting for a bus the lady beside me told me I have a wonderful daughter....it was so hard for us not to laugh in her face (she seriously thought she was my daughter) and try to tell her that NO we're not mother/daughter just friends...

Megan

[kuju]

heh.... When I was working in the hospital I'd get one patient say "you're so young... you're so young." and the one in the next room would be asking me how old my kids are... it's crazy!

[Nurseman]

I am forty...cough...cough.....cough...cough!..cough!.. SIX.

Reciently, I ran into a girl I used to date in High School, and she was telling me about her GRANDCHILDREN! **Heart skips TWO beats**
Our former Head Cheerleader brought her son into my ER a couple of weeks ago. I didn't recognize her! She was so OLD!! All wrinkly and fat. I may be fat, myself, and losing hair, but I look DAMN GOOD!! (at least by comparison)

Do I FEEL 46? I dunno. I have no idea what 46 is supposed to feel like. I always thought that I'd be Ward Cleaver by now, with 2.5 kids, a mortgage, a job I hate, and a wife that hates me. Instead, I'm single, childless, and I hang out on-line with a bunch of (great) "kids" half my age, whom I consider my contemporaries.

Life is good.

[Deidre]

Yesterday we had a small group of people over. Magnus's friend brought his cousin (who is 20/21-ish) and his cousin's girlfriend.

Halfway through the evening, the girlfriend asked me if I live here (our house) too, because I was referring to the dog who obviously lives here (has his toys and his crate here) as if it was mine. Oh, we live together, well, nothing strange there really. We live together and we have a dog, wow... the responsibility. Just before they were leaving, though, she figured out that we own this house. You could see her mind boggle (not to mention, her voice raised a pitch when she started asking questions). I didn't feel 'old', but her reaction created an instant 'rift' that usually isn't noticeably there. :neutral:

[Gezus]

Instead, I'm single, childless, and I hang out on-line with a bunch of (great) "kids" half my age, whom I consider my contemporaries.

Life is good.

If it makes you feel even better, I'm technically a third your age heheh

[kuju]

lol. I'm SURE that makes him feel "better" :)

[Nurseman]

:beer::beer::martini::beer::

Yeah, I feel (hic) peachy.

[Wolf]

For once, I do. Forced to slack off for nearly two months. Turned it into a vacation and I'm having loads of fun.

[dtbmnec]

Its just wierd for me...I mean I sit here and think "oh well when I'm 21 I'll do..." and then realise that wait I AM 21 lol...

I don't know what 21 feels like but I just don't think I am the age that I actually am...

Thanksgiving went well though...no major freak outs...boyfriend got blinded by his little sister (it was rather funny) and my parents seemed happy...they aren't big on socialness...well dad is but not mom...*shrugs* But I think it went well...no death threats or anything :)

Megan