Self-Conscious about Stretch Marks & Sex

[LnknPrkGrl]

I don't know if this post would go under "Mirror Mirror", but since it deals with sex, I'll just stick it here.

A couple of months ago, a guy friend and I were talking about having sex (you know, giving it up to someone you trust and all that bullshit). We set up everything but a couple of days before the "BIG DAY", I told him that I couldn't go through with it. The major reason is because I wasn't comfortable with my body. Having lost about 45 pounds, I'm kinda "rounded" but not overweight (well, that's what my Body Mass INdex claims...), yet I have really noticable stretch marks. When I say this, I don't mean them in random spots or one every here and there...but LOTS. Do any of you guys feel that stretch marks on a girl are a turn-off? Does this effect sex in anyway? Thanks lots!

[zoe]

From your post, I'm guessing that you're looking for guys' responses, but I have something to say (as usual! haha). I have strech marks on my back because I have mild scoliosis and my back actually aquired stretch marks from going from 125 pounds to 105. It's not many pounds difference, but when I lost the weight, my scoliosis had something to do with all the strech marks. I guess you could say that I'm a bit self-conscious about them, but really, if a guy's going to let some silly little stretch marks turn him off, then he's obviously superficial and not someone you should be having sex with in the first place. If he's in love with you, which I'm hoping he is if you two are going to have sex, then he won't care about those silly little things.

Be proud of your body :D

[Redneck]

I could type out a post, but Zoe said it pretty much said it like it should be. If a guy cares enough about you to have sex with you, a few imperfections arent gonna change the way he thinks about you. But also let it be said that some people out there are @ssholes, so make sure you know who the guy really is.

[BigJim]

if he loves you, he shouldn't even notice.

if you're worried, turn the lights out!

[Pudding]

umm ok u can slap me for this afterwards, but i just wanna say i think what ur doing is really really sad.. u just sound like u cant wait till u lose ur virginity and its not even to ur boyfriend. trust me ull regret it, its happened to lots of people round me including my bf (he was drunk but he was with his gf at the time) and hey, im only 16 still.
another thing is that u cant PLAN everything to the 'big day'. when u start thinking properly and mature a little bit, ull realise that no matter how much you PLAN, it will NOT go PERFECTLY. or as perfectly as u would want it to go anyway. please give it more thought.

[goofball]

even if he doesn't love you he probably won't notice. he'll be too focused on your breasts and vagina

[kuju]

actually, losing it to a trusted friend might not be so bad, AS LONG AS you both understand that this is a one-time thing, you're not fuck-buddies, and there's no relationship other than friendship... but doing it in a real, loving relationship is always best.

but as for stretch marks, you get them when you gain weight, but you also get them when you lose it. Honestly, he won't care. The beauty of you will keep him occupied.

[SupernaturalNympho]

Well I think pudding makes an interesting point

But regarding the stretch marks, everyones got some good points. All in all, if you're self conscios, dimming the lights is a good idea. Or even better --- light the room with candles to give it a soft, romantic glow :)

[Barefoot Matt]

I couldn't care less.

[Deidre]

I'm a girl, but I'm going to do a little relating on this subject, anyway...

I'm from Sweden, and by English-Swedish dictionary couldn't even find a translation for stretch mark. I had never even heard of them before I started coming to these Forums, where a lot of people seem preoccupied with how ugly stretch marks are (I honestly still don't know what they look like... I have a vague idea, but I can't recall having seen anything like that, and they're supposed to be common).
I know, also, that I'm not the only one who hadn't heard about this until it was mentioned in the forums... that is just how important stretch marks are. Not very much at all. Not much worth the mention... so don't worry about your stretch marks.

...are you 100% certain, though, that they're really the reason you called it off?

[KnightRider]

Yeah, afraid so..... they're a turn off.

[skittleknows]

WTF knight rider? :roll: if someone really cares about you a little flaw isn't gonna make you repulsive! I mean everyone has some flaws!

I think that the real question here is are you ready period. If you just wanna get it over with YOU AREN'T READY. if you feel uncomfortable about baring yourself to someone that you are that close YOU AREN'T READY (granted everyone feels a little uncomfortable, but not to the point of calling it off). Just because youre questioning this is another red flag. I don't mean to p*ss you off or anything, i'm just giving my opinion.

[LnknPrkGrl]

In response to Pudding, I KNOW that I would have regretted it and that is exactly why I called it off. I wasn't using my flaw as an excuse not to do it. I was in love with this guy and I would have just been an easy fuck (though months later he told me that it wouldn't have been like that for him and that he liked me also. Yeah right...if he did, he wouldn't have brought up anything like that). The reason I agreed to it in the first place was because I wasn't confident enough in myself, but since then I have grown and I know that I want to wait until I'm with someone who loves me also. In addition, I know that NOTHING in life goes according to plan. Anyway, I asked the question because I'm still in the process of losing weight and I noticed that I got more stretch marks after losing weight and considering I still have about 20 more pounds to go, I'll have even more. Thanks, ya'll!

[kewlgal99]

im a girl, and i've never really lost or gained any amount of weight so i don't have any stretch marks, but if you go to the dermotologist or something, they DO have creams and various other things that will fade them alot if they make you self concious. but like everyone said, they probably won't mind, especially not with lights off and blankets all over. as long as you don't want to be a porn star, you're fine.

[Barefoot Matt]

In response to Pudding, I KNOW that I would have regretted it and that is exactly why I called it off. I wasn't using my flaw as an excuse not to do it.

No offense, but you seem to be changing your story just to get everyone off your back... in your original message, you said the following:

I told him that I couldn't go through with it. The major reason is because I wasn't comfortable with my body.

See what I mean? You're contradicting yourself.

[benciti19]

I've dated a couple women with stretch marks in various places...didnt bug me at all. I was more into THEM and who they were as a woman than the fact they had a few strectch marks. If you really like/love someone man or woman whats it matter what type of marks, moles or whatever they have right? Bye the way, I have stretch marks on my ass and legs from when I was in the Marines and worked out a lot and hiked a lot....lost about 30 pounds of muscle since then...and havent heard any remarks made about them. Nor am I self consciouse about them.

[EaCS]

Even if it was a turn-off there isn't much you can do about it, and it would be a very shallow guy that would let stretch marks get in the way of anything.

[SoSweetAngel]

I have little stretch marks on m thighs, and my boyfriend says it doesn't bother him at all. He woulndt exactly tell me otherwise though!

There is nothing you can do about it though is there!! Unless you plan to be a virgin forever, one day a man will see you naked, and the chances are he won't care about your weight!

I could go off on one about how you don't sound like you're ready, but I can't be bothered! :roll:

[ShRt SwEEt*n*SexY]

strech marks aren't attractive. but your b/f shouldn't care if he loves for what really matters. last night i asked my b/f if he would love me if i was 300 lbs and he said he would because me loves me not my looks. we all have flaws, some look past them, others point them out hopefully your b/f isn't one of those people.

[Mooch]

okay...what's a stretch mark? Is it like a wrinkle? How do you get them?

[SupernaturalNympho]

stretch mark
n.
A shiny line on the skin of the abdomen, breasts, thighs, or buttocks that is often lighter than the surrounding skin and is caused by the stretching and weakening of elastic tissues as a result of pregnancy or obesity, for example.

--
This isn't the best definition, but it works. Stretch marks are basically a result of some kind of fast growth --> whether it be weight gain, sprouting an extra 6inches in two months, breast growth or even pregancy.