Talking to Someone You Hardly Know

[lavalamp69]

What's this? Lavalamp posting for advice? Impossible! Oh well, I didn't find the forums by searching for 'goats' now did I?

Anyway, there's this chick who was in one of my 9 week classes at the beginning of the year, I thought she was kinda cute (can I say cute?), anyway.. the class was over and I saw her again and again in between classes and I realized "Hey, she was kinda cool.. I should ask her out."

Well uh, now there's a problem isn't there.. I see this person for an interval of about 2-3 seconds a day........... and I'd be extremely suprised if she even knows my name.

So yeah, does anyone have some advice for meeting someone who I barely know and almost never see? :P

[Raptor]

yeah dude u n me both :(

i'm in the same position almost, i dunno what to do bout it either
so lets get some replys rolling ppl! :cool3:

Aite, lemme help you n00bs out.

I always thought Lava was asexual. :)

Well anyway, the best method, for now, since you don't even know her, is to get into a position where she remembers your name.

Next time you see her and feel like she might have a moment, exchange eye contact with her for an extended time (1 second is enough). After the exchange, say "Hey." It could help to do this BEFORE what I'm about to say a few times.

Next, stop dead in the hall after saying "Hi" and be like "Hey, you were in my ****** class this year right?"

"yah" she says in her deep manly voice

"Let's have sex." Says lava in his sexy operator voice

*omit that last line*

Then say something like, "Remember me? How's your year going?"

Try not to plan it out too much... it won't ever go as planned. Don't do this in a crowded hall. Don't do it when you're both RUSHING to get to class. Try to use the next chance you get when one of you is standing still, or after school, or during lunch. Ultimately, this sort of thing shoulda been done WHILE she was in your class. Doi doi doi~

It's coo. :lol:

[Shocka]

The easiest way to start a conversation is to walk up to her and scream "AAAAARRRRRRRR THE RED NIPPLE SCORPIONS ARE BACK!!!" and fall onto your back, flailing your limbs wildly. This guarentees she'll never forget you. Ever. Not even after the trauma councelling.

On the other hand, if you want to start a real conversation with her, since you're already in the same classes, you have a topic to start off with. Here's some samples:
"Hey, how are you? Are you enjoying the class?"
"What do you think of *insert lecturer/teacher/tuter/gopher name here*"
"You're name is *insert name here*, right?"
blah blah blah you get the idea. If it's meant to be, the conversation will flow. If not, there are plenty more fish in the sea, you just have to lure them in and hit them with the oar a few times to stop them squirming.

From my experience, here are some not so good opening lines:
"Wow, your boobs are HUGE. Do you swallow?"
"Hi, my name is Shocka. I have a large steel door on my basement which stops the neighbours from hearing the screams of my victims."
"We've only exchanged a few words, and I already feel like contructing a small shrine of you in my attic."
"WHOA, WERE YOU EVER HIT WITH THE UGLY STICK, OR JUST RUN OVER AS A BABY?"
"Do you think that crushing a car with midgets inside would cause them to melt out the windows, or to be crushed into a midget-like hamburger?" *note* especially not good if the girl in question is a midget or kind of short

This advice is brought to you by Shocka Industries.

What about, "Hey, is your mom available or is she still with your brother?"

[lavalamp69]

Wow, you guys are full of award-winning advice ;)

Did you guys both study at the college of bad sophomoric humor, or are you just naturally that lame?

[Jebus]

I suggest approaching her and saying something like, "Hey, weren't you in my 'so and so' class?" From there, I would make a comment about the class, I say at least two. You don't want do this out-of-the-blue though. Like starfish suggested, make eye contact with her for a while, and make sure she sees your eye contact. Try to get a conversation started, one that you shouldn't plan ahead for, and try to keep it flowing. Depending on the amount of time, just have a short conversation. From there, periodically say "hi" to her in the halls, occasionally extending beyond a simple "hi". From there, well, you can make you "move", per say.

"We've only exchanged a few words, and I already feel like contructing a small shrine of you in my attic."


Now that I think about it, I think that one could actually charm a girl if you say it in the right way (as in SARCASTICALLY)... I shall try this and report my winnings...

[lavalamp69]

I suggest approaching her and saying something like, "Hey, weren't you in my 'so and so' class?" From there, I would make a comment about the class, I say at least two. You don't want do this out-of-the-blue though.

That's basically impossible considering I only see her for 2 seconds.. and today I didn't see her at all..... shame too, because I looked sharp :P And when I say see her, I mean just that.. see her.. nothing else.. so its not like I even have the slightest window of opportunity to approach her.

However, there will be a play/fundraiser for Drama club on Wednesday.. and according to the yearbook she is in drama club... so I think I'll buy tickets for at least 2 of the shows that day.. 2nd block and 4th block haven't really been that busy recently.

[Raptor]

lol whenever i see this girl she's always going the opposite way to me in a corridor. Never a chance to say anything

but sometimes i see her sitting this room as i go past, so mite try then - mite try one of Shockas lines - see where it gets me!

[Jebus]

That's basically impossible considering I only see her for 2 seconds.. and today I didn't see her at all..... shame too, because I looked sharp :P And when I say see her, I mean just that.. see her.. nothing else.. so its not like I even have the slightest window of opportunity to approach her.

However, there will be a play/fundraiser for Drama club on Wednesday.. and according to the yearbook she is in drama club... so I think I'll buy tickets for at least 2 of the shows that day.. 2nd block and 4th block haven't really been that busy recently.

Do you know any of her friends, even the distant ones? They could probably help you out a lot. Either that, or you can go out of your way one day and approach her when you see her, walk and talk with her, and then just be late for your next class. Sometimes you have to make sacrifices. And, going to that play, if she's in it, would be an excellent way to start a conversation. You can approach her and tell her how you liked her performance, that would definitly get her attention. Either way, it looks like you are going to have to make some sacrifices to talk to her because the convenience thing isn't going to work in your favor.

[lavalamp69]

Yeah, I'm always late to class, so that's no biggy.. I just don't know how to strike anything up without jumping in front of her and looking like an idiot making so much effort to talk to her.

[lavalamp69]

[In reply to dulcinea's post, which, due to a bug, is BELOW, this one VVV]

That seems pretty forced ;) And, well, I make an idiot of myself daily, Im quite good at it... I just don't wanna seem 'stalker-esque' as you said.. and I think I will be if I act like that.

[Jebus]

Yeah, I'm always late to class, so that's no biggy.. I just don't know how to strike anything up without jumping in front of her and looking like an idiot making so much effort to talk to her.

If you attend the play/fundraiser, you can easily approach her and tell her how good of a job she did. She would most likely be flatter if someone said that she did a good job, espcially someone going out of their way to do so. But, you can't limit yourself to just saying she did a good job, you have to be descriptive about it. What I mean by that is, you have to tell in detail why you thought she had a great performance. After that, depending on how that goes, you can slowly make your way to getting to know her.

[dulcinea]

Heh, the one thing you absolutely can't be afraid of is looking like an idiot. Let's face it, no matter what you do to start a random conversation with some girl you don't know, you're probably going to look like an idiot. There's really no safe, guaranteed, sophisticated way of starting a random conversation. You have to take the risk that you'll look like a loser.

Besides, if you "take the effort," as you put it, she'll probably appreciate you looking like a loser. So long as you're not stalker-esque, following her around breathing down her neck, then she'll probably be flattered that you obviously found her interesting enough to go to that much trouble to talk to her.

Speaking of jumping in front of her, that's a good way to start a conversation, actually. It sounds lame, but "accidentally" bump into her one day. Then be like, "Oh, I'm sorry, I'm such a klutz, jeez, I dunno what's wrong with me... hey, wait a minute, you were in my [insert name here] class, weren't you?" Just make sure it doesn't seem forced. :P

[lavalamp69]

Ok, you'll all probably find this lame, but I use it every now and then when I have an ackward conversation with an old friend at school... I usually say something like "So uh, you come here often?" with a sarcastic Norm MacDonald tone.. And usually, well, its a good ice-breaker.. so I'm thinking that might be good in this case..

However:
A) I don't want to over-think it..
B) I'm not sure if its too corny, but in my opinion much better than "Wow, that class sure was wacky!!", in which case I would just look very, very gay.

[BigJim]

"hey. wanna fuck?"

if it works, great. if not, no biggie...

[hunny]

It IS hard to approach someone you don't know. The others are right about one thing, and that is, you must find some way of talking to her or it won't ever work. Look for an 'in', you know what's possible more than we do.
Keep in mind that girls are usually flattered by attention from guys. We like it when you seem to notice us and make an effort to talk to us. As long as you don't come across as some kind of psychotic stalking lunatic (in other words, don't use any of the lines these guys gave you) then we usually are happy that you notice. I can't speak for all girls, of course, but I think this is true for the most part. As long as she doesn't already have a bf then your attention should be welcome, and shouldn't make you look like an idiot. Just be nice, when you get a chance, and make her laugh or something. Girls like that.
Good luck.

[8IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID]

umm... wtf.. i just typed a long ass pieca shit for you and then they fucking made me log in again so my msg wuz overridden by the goddamn login screen. I am not impressed.


and it was good too :-?

aiite... i'll make a post tommorow or so about this. i shall return!

[moonangel]

Find out where she goes, socially. Like is there a place that most students hang out, a place where she would most likely go? A place where you could "bump" into her. I find, most of the time, I meet guys when at the pub, or I meet them through friends. SOMETIMES they'll approach me out of the blue, which I find quite flattering, and it actually makes me admire a guy for having the guts to even do that.

Smile and say hi to her when you're near her, maybe walking from or to class, sitting beside her in class ... anywhere ... just smile and acknowledge her. If there's an assignment due sometime soon, maybe ask her how she's going with it. Or ask her what she though about a class.

Just do it!

[SportRock]

One thing you should think about, it doesnt hurt to try and make conversatoin or get to know someone, I mean your nothing to them if you don't, just another body which comes and goes... if they even notice that. Another thing to remember is that as you become somebody to them, they become somebody to you who you can judge for yourself as well, seeing if its worth pursuing anything with them at all, they will be doing the same with you. Don't get discuraged if it doesnt go anywhere after you become someone to them, becasue thats how it was just supposed to be.

Just be yourself
If your not your nobody
Show people who you are
Don't be ashamed of who you are

:wink:

[Shocka]

As long as you don't come across as some kind of psychotic stalking lunatic

Aye, that's the hard part. :( I'm in a similar situation to Lavalamp and I just have that eerie 'stalker' vibe around me 24/7. Oh well.

[lavalamp69]

Find out if you have any mutual friends. Then, ask that friend to introduce you two. And when you do get introduced, say, "I remember you.....You were in my _____ class."

And especially since she's in drama, you most likely have a friend that's in the club, too. Ask that person to introduce you two.

Yep, that's what I've done.. I found a mutual friend who is gonna introduce us ;) And I've also found other friends who know her and have told me a good bit about her, now I just have the same fear as Shocka, coming off as a stalker ;)

[Shocka]

not exactly - I don't recall you carrying around a few heads and a buzzsaw... :(

[lavalamp69]

Buzzsaw? what kind of stalker-wannabe are you? Seriously, if you're a real stalker, you do things by hand, with a handsaw.

[SportRock]

A buzzsaw will not help you get to know the girl better, at least in the way normal people get to know eachother. I recommend talking.

[Shocka]

your arm gets tired with a regular hacksaw if you have to sever more than 2 heads, I find

[lavalamp69]

That's why you need to make your cut from the back of your neck in between joints in the neckbone, it will pinch your saw at first but its much easier than cutting through all that bone.

[Shocka]

I used to do that, but the hacksaw got blunt! I decided that new technology was the only way to go. But usually I just use an axe, it's more fun lifting and chopping.

[lavalamp69]

Hm... interesting, I'll have to try those.. now get back on topic you bastard!

[Shocka]

http://www.somethingawful.com/cliff/ihateyou/page-207-06.jpg

You guys are fucked up...


Everybody knows real stalkers just bludgeon their victims with a bat.

[Shocka]

*bludgeons starfish with a bat*

It's not as fun as breaking your bones with an axe :(

*coughs blood*

I... t's... trad... ition...

*bleeds on the floor*

[Shocka]

I think a sledgehammer to the face will finish you off nicely.

Bite me.

http://www.bol.ucla.edu/~mkono/images/bender.jpg

[8IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID]

u guys really need to get out some :wink:

aiite shocka and lava, a lot's been said already so let's get to the stuff that hasn't. the following should be combined with starfish's first post in this thread.
how to not come off as a stalker
things stalkers are not: casual, confident (well.. i suppose u have ppl who are confident in their stalker-abilities blah), and funny.

u gotta utilize all these three qualities.

whenever u approach your target/victim u gotta lay on the charm. to you this whole pickup thing is a joke. flirting and dating are supposed to be fun. so make em fun.

when you begin your pickup pretend you're having your own little private joke while talking to her. grin like you know something she doesnt. i'm serious, this works. don't look at her and giggle like a schoolgirl and then turn away and repeat. just at least appear to be at ease. u shud be smiling thru most of the pickup. make it clear that it is a pickup so she doesnt think ur just being friendly. poke fun at the situation. drop some lines in a sarcastic way if u wish. poor example: leer at her in an exaggerated manner and offer to buy her a drink... situation takes place in a classroom -_-
stuff like that. poke fun at her. eg. the last girl i picked up wuz a ditzy blond who always seemed to be posing, whatever she did. i made fun of that. copy anything odd she's doing. that should come naturally to you clowns.
anyways break it off with a witty line. the next you see her, ask for her digits. asking the 1st time might come off as desperate. do this only if your first conversation is a pretty long one.
pluses to this behaviour: being interesting and funny in this manner projects confidence. you're joking, so you're also casual. and again, you're joking around, so you're also funny (i hope)
and btw you can prepare a few lines beforehand if you're kinda new at this. it doesn't hurt. u don't want to freeze up on her.
negative aspects: she might think you're a playa cuz ur just so damn good at this.

so basically what i'm saying is: the best stalkers know how to hide their true nature from their objects of obsession :evil2:

[dulcinea]

yeah, it's easy to keep from coming off as a stalker.

No shrines of her in your bedroom; that's a bad idea.

No following her everywhere she goes without actually talking to her, just staring; that's also a bad idea.

No ritual sacrifice of her pets or small children which might be mistaken for pets; that'll get you arrested.

[lavalamp69]

Wow, thank's mister-username-looks-like-a-penis-guy ;) I'm usually pretty good around people.. so hopefully it will be easy.. and my friend will be introducing us, so that makes it even more casual. And yes dulcinea, I'll try to avoid sacrificial ceremonies.

[dulcinea]

And if you must sacrifice something... then please god, don't do it on her back porch or somewhere public. Remember, "it's only illegal if you get caught." :o

:mrgreen:

[SportRock]

Hahaha, Bender...
*hits starfish with bat*

[the Music Man]

How do you know if she's cool and all if you don't even know her? First off, you should just try and make small talk with her. If you know her name (which I hope you do) get her attention and tell her that you two had a class together and just chat it up. Ask her if she'd like to go get coffee or lunch sometime. Just make small talk with her.