The Rules of Sex

[kuju]

Not of the forum... of sex itself.

Let's make a composite list of general rules of sex. VALID RULES. That means "The girl should give the guy a blowjob" is not a rule. However, if she's willing, "The girl should not use teeth" IS a valid rule.

I'll start.

1. Trimmed fingernails are a must on guys' hands.
2. When giving a blowjob, the girl should cover her teeth.
3. When having sex, lying there, moaning, but not doing anything, is NOT considered "participation"
4. If one person wants a condom to be worn, a condom is worn, even if the other doesn't want it.


please add on!

[Brass Monkey]

Alright, I got a couple...

5. Shave! This goes for both guys and girls. It is annoying and no one wants to get close to someone who rubs on them like sandpaper.
6. Don't ask if she climaxed. If you can't tell if she did or not, she probably didn't. You can usually tell if she does.
7. DON'T FAKE IT!
8. Don't use stuff you see in pornos. Most of that stuff is more painful then it is pleasurable.
9. If she is going down on you...warn her!
10. Don't ignore every other part of her body during sex. There is a whole lot more to her than just the breasts and vagina.

[rcwant2be]

3. When having sex, lying there, moaning, but not doing anything, is NOT considered "participation"

i'm guilty. RC is very sexually selfish. bad me.


11. Don't tell your girl she has nice skin. It's a fact that all girls have nice skin, thus it's really not a compliment. It's a line!

12. If your significant other's roommate is sleeping just a few feet away, go somewhere else. Don't have loud abnoxious sex just to piss them off.

13. Don't strangle your girl with her own clothes, bra specifically.

14. Foreplay. Don't skip it or skimp on it.

15. Don't thank someone for having sex with you.

16. Don't squash her. You know, men generally weigh more than women. It can happen.

17. Don't bash her head against the headboard. That really sucks!

18. Slapping your stomachs together. That's just not a good sound.

19. Don't take pictures/video unless both parties agree.

[hunny]

Ahem.

IF she's giving you head, do NOT hold her head down there. And don't even think about coming on her face...

Don't talk to your friends about sex you've had with your gf.

[piglet]

20. If he/she says no to something don't ask him/her what is wrong with them...they said no end of story.
21. Try not to snap the girls bra when taking it off...that hurts
22. hickeys in inconspicuous areas are good....try not to leave one on places like upper neck, chin FOREHEAD
23. Let your partner in on your motives of why you are doing something
24. Make it interesting once in a while


ok that's all I got

[super_chevy2000]

Ahem.

IF she's giving you head, do NOT hold her head down there. And don't even think about coming on her face...

Don't talk to your friends about sex you've had with your gf.
Very well said.

Don't always let your partner inniciate the sex. It's good to have the female take charge and start things off every now and then.

By the way, there are some very good rules listed in here.

[*after8*]

22. hickeys in inconspicuous areas are good....try not to leave one on places like upper neck, chin FOREHEAD


haha. i thought i was the only one who ever got a hickey on her forehead =)

i only have one to add
-- DONT ask for head. its the biggest turn off EVER (well, for me anyway)

[Wolf]

ha, I gave my ex a hickey on her boob
lol
(that wasn't easy!)

Anywho..
25. Don't be too damn rough.
26. Don't do it too often or it will lose something. How much is enough is up to you. But always leave yourself wanting a little more.

[moonangel]

27. Don't yell out some other person's name during sex.
28. Don't fall asleep during sex.
29. Wear clothing that is reasonably easy to get off.
30. Make sure the bed isn't too squeaky. That can be annoying.
31. For the girls -- if the guy is taking a long time to unclip your bra, wait for a little bit, then do it yourself. Don't make a big deal about it.
32. Don't talk too much during sex. That's annoying.

[BigJim]

33. don't fuck her head if you're giving you oral. a penis getting thrust into her mouth won't be well received. teeth may be used then.

34. afro's downstairs are a turnoff

35. you'll never get better sex than with me.

[SupernaturalNympho]

2. When giving a blowjob, the girl should cover her teeth.


I gotta say, teeth can be used quite effectively on occasion for a change of pace. hehe


8. Don't use stuff you see in pornos. Most of that stuff is more painful then it is pleasurable.


Who says pain isn't pleasure? :evil2:


15. Don't thank someone for having sex with you.


That's right. Beg them for more....use the word "Master" *evil grin*


17. Don't bash her head against the headboard. That really sucks!

Am I the only one who finds this kinky?


27. Don't yell out some other person's name during sex.


That's right. Scream it.


hehe.

[kuju]

Only the nympho could contradict each and every rule!


36. Take breaks. Couples often have sex every time they get together. It becomes routine. Make sure that once a month at least you have a nice sex-free, grope-free date. eg. dinner and a movie, and a good night kiss.

[Brass Monkey]

37. Don't ever ask your partner "WHO'S YOUR DADDY?"

[SupernaturalNympho]

Only the nympho could contradict each and every rule!


*LiCk* hey....those were all valid points *grin*

[Palmer of the Turks]

Don't expect ANYTHING. At all.

Promises about sex are NOT binding.
Promises during sex are NOT binding.

If they tell you to stop, STOP NOW!!!!!!

And then do NOT complain about not getting to finish. Behappy you got as much as you did... if you bitch now, it may be the last you get.

[Deidre]

Don't talk to your friends about sex you've had with your gf.
What about random people online? :lol:

[hunny]

Random people online are, of course, not included in that group known as friends. The safety and anonymity of the internet is a better outlet for talking about sex than your buddy who wants to know how often "you're hitting that."

[Deidre]

Random people online are, of course, not included in that group known as friends. The safety and anonymity of the internet is a better outlet for talking about sex than your buddy who wants to know how often "you're hitting that."
Yes, yes, I know, but I had to point that out... we are talking about it, even if it doesn't feel like it... and some people here become quite good friends, which removes the anonymity.

[Shocka]

errr... anyway, back to the sex rules!
(I don't know which number we were up to, so I'll just make them up)

13. Never have sex against a window or glass shower door. Recipe for disaster like never before.

17. Before attempting something new and, err 'extreme' with your partner, confer first to make sure he/she is ok with it. (the example I'm thinking of is those spiked condoms/dildos, man are those ever painful)

69. Both guy and girl should be prepared for a sexual event, even if it is a "surprise" (ie if you think you might possibly be having sex, get a condom and loose fitting close for easy removal - then, even if you don't have sex, you're prepared.)

1244. If you think that your boyfriend/girlfriend is about to call, make sure it's them before you answer the phone with "hi my big studmuffin of a hunk"

123234531. If it's her first time, be gentle and considerate. If it's his first time, fuck him like there's no tomorrow.

4. Fisting definately is not fun without consent, and most of the time isn't pleasurable. (this can also go for anal sex - see 17.)

73. BigJim has erectile problems. it comes up, but won't go back down until he's had sex 17 times in a row.

74. That might be true, but it's nothing compared to Shocka. His never goes down until his partner is truly satisfied. Poor BigJim just has to settle for second best. :P

890. Always make sure that the door IS locked and the music is loud enough when the parents are home. That was, she can scream in pleasure all she likes.

1029. Pressuring is not sexy. Waiting and understanding is romantic.

1423. Yes, there is something wrong with people who don't want/like sex.

126. Panicing doesn't help in the event of a broken condom or other emergency. Rationality is essential.

923. No means no - sort of. If she says no way, then it means no way. If she says a giggly "no, I really shouldn't" then it's slightly different. Real men can tell the difference and know when no means NO.

[BigJim]

121324. cum tastes good. swallow it!!


73. BigJim has erectile problems. it comes up, but won't go back down until he's had sex 17 times in a row.
how did you know that?? news travels.. :mrgreen:

[kuju]

Ah Nate... you really DO love that blind edit button... don't you?

[goofball]

- once in a while, female take the inititive
- don't scratch bite and stuff unless you KNOW the other person is into it
- don't get a guy riled up, then all of a sudden cut it off, be up front
- if a girl does this, it still doesn't mean you can rape her

[Lauren112285]

There are a lot of 'dont's' are there any more 'do's'?

[BigJim]

Ah Nate... you really DO love that blind edit button... don't you?

...wasn't me!

[the Music Man]

Those are some good rules to go by. LoL, but it seems every post is a repetition of another post.

[Nurseman]

AS USUAL, ITS UP TO ME TO COME UP WITH THE REALLY GOOD RULES

(Yes there are "DO" rules)

-DO pick a form of birth control and practice it religiously. (Should have been #1, Kuju. :-? )

-DO practice safe sex.

-DO get tested (Both of you) for STDs prior to sex.

-DO carry a condom with you ALL the time. Boy Scouts aren't the only ones who should "Be Prepared".

-DO call her the next day. (Girls find that important for some reason)

-DO clean your place up if you expect to bring her home that night. That includes making the bed with fresh sheets. (Again girls find that important. Why? I dunno. I'm a slob.)

-DON'T get pregnant. Don't get anybody pregnant.

*The above is an excert from "The Nurseman Manifesto"

[SShore4]

excert from "The Nurseman Manifesto"
Where can I buy a copy? :P

[Mooch]

1423. Yes, there is something wrong with people who don't want/like sex.

I might agree with the "don't like" part, but not the "don't want" part...there are hundreds of perfectly good reasons to not want sex.

[kuju]

I have to agree with Mooch. There's a difference between not liking sex and not WANTING sex. I mean, sure, I'm for liking and wanting sex right now... but some people aren't ready, or don't feel that the relationship is built enough, or have just gotten out of a relationship and don't really feel like jumping into bed with the next person they meet... etc.

[Shocka]

Aye, I should have cleared that up. I meant never wanting sex EVER. Never in a relationship, at all, ever. Who only will have sex for the sake of producing and having a baby. Or to please their partner. There is something wrong with people like that, possibly including decreased sex drive, psychological issues or something else entirely.
Of course, not all people who dislike sex have a "problem" - it could be that they've had bad sexual experiences (Big Jim) in past relationships, or have been sexually abused. These themselves are also problems, though - there's always technicalities with rules like these, you can't generalise anything.